Wife unhappy and leaving

[pierrecloutier]

Me and my wife have been married since 1999, and have two wonderful girls. I truly love my wife more then anything, but she says she is not happy and that she wants to be on her own and be independent and happy.

I know I have problems, I am not perfect -- I work a lot and lately I have not been paying the attention I should to her and my kids, but I would give anything up for them, even my job. I really don't know what I would do without my wife, she is my bestfreind, my companion I can honestly say all the years I have been with her I have never though of being with anyone else.

I told I would do anything to change but she says it is to late, I would like to go to counceling, or anything that will help but I don't think I can convince her. I know I can show her how much I love her, and that I can treat her the way she deaserves, but I not sure if she will give me that chance.

I want her to be happy, so if she really wants me to leave, and that will actually make her happy I will go even though it will almost kill me -- But she is all that matters.

I have been praying -- and crying (and I am not one to do so easy) I just want her to stay, and give me a chance to prove I can bring the love back.

[pmoon]

Hi am sorry to hear that you find yourself in this situation. It is not easy to be told by the partner, that you love, that you are not going to play a part in her future in the way you wanted to!

I also understand the pain and the crying! I sympathise, it can be hard to experience these feelings.

You say that you dont think you can convince her that you can change! What would you like to change? How would you change?

If you can and want to change, try and make her understand, but try and give her options as to how this could happen. Try not to completely remove your self from the possibility of seeing her, but give her space at the same time! Its a balancing act, but if your marraige is worth saving, and it sounds like you care and love for her very much, then try to find a way.

Good Luck

Paul

[deadletteroffice]

Don't cry, don't beg. Read 'The Divorce Remedy' - might help. Be cheerful and positive when you're with her, even if you cry when alone. This happened to me - we have been seperated over two months now, but there is now talk of reconciliation. If you cry and beg etc you are as good as pushing her out the door. www.divorcebusting.com - worth a look. It's not easy, but if you want to save marriage and have the stomach to do it in the face of the fact that you might fail, it's probably the best chance you have. Good luck.

[what-happened]

I really feel for, you every word you have written could have been typed by me, it is a near exact replica of what I have been going through. with the only exception being that I have always looked after the kids and I did manage to get to conseling but to no avail. I wish you all the best and hope that you can be strong.

[AnnieP]

Just to back up DLO's post on gettign and reading "The Divorce Remedy". If she has fallen out of love with you, your pleading, crying and promises will not touch her. It is highly unattractive and will push her further away.
Try to give her space and become more distant. This is SO hard to do, when what you think you need is to actually be closer to them for comfort, but believe me, it is the only way.
Good luck adn keep posting. We are all here to support you! Most of us are in the same boat!