has it happened?

[Coffeebean]

To all those who have helped me cope with the last 9 months of pregnancy - for which I couldn't thank you enough - You'll know the big question that has really focused my mind was whether my h was going to make good his threat and leave once the baby was born. Well I think the answer to that question may just well be yes.

The baby was due on Tuesday but so far nothing doing. I had all the house set up and put the dog in the kennels and I thought we could enjoy the last few days just being together and enjoying our time without responsibility. I tried to get him to take me out for a meal (for which I would be paying) give me cuddles, just enjoy the quiet only to find that we argued over the past 3 days. He just sat playing on his xbox snarled at me if I suggested we went out and in the end (once I had brought dog back out of the kennels - seemed little point in spending money there) took us jet skiing - great thing for an overdue pregnant woman to be doing and then got cross because surprise surprise dog was very anxious and barking as we had just taken him out of the kennels so it was hardly a calming family time!

Well last night probably one of the last time we have to spend together he slept on the sofa. So is this his way of starting the way he means to go one? just a matter of time before he walks?

It seems such a shame that our last few days have been spent back biting and now dog is back and the baby will be induced on Monday if not born.

And to top it off I have spent £90 on food shopping bought 3 large packs of chips and h doens't like chips and insisted nay demanded that h take £150 for the month for some odd reason even though i shouldn't.

Really fed here people and what am I going to do with all these chips!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks to all of you out there for your love prayers and help.

[Bouncy]

Hi there,
I'm new to this site so forgive me if I don't know you're full history.
I think the way your H is behaving is out of order. You are pregnant and need a lot of support. By behaving the way he does and threatening you with his intention to leave you he is causing you terrible anxiety which would suggest he doesn't care about you. If he is going to leave why is he waiting until you have the baby? I know this is harsh but if he makes you so unhappy and causes so much tension wouldn't you and your baby be better off without him? I don't know the full details as I said but no matter what has happened surely your H should make his mind up one way or the other or neither of you will be able to move on in life.
I know it would be hard at first if he left but at least you wouldn't be constantly wondering if he was going to walk out at any time. If he intends to leave he will do it however hard you try to stop him.
I'm sorry if this all seems a bit hard but you are a good person and you deserve better.

I can only wish you well and hope baby arrives safely and soon!

[jools]

Ho Coffeebean
Not a lot I can do but just to say good luck with the birth. Bet you feel like saying to him "WHY BOTHER?!" So wrapped up in his own selfish needs. What is wrong with him (them)? It's like no matter how much we might want or need something they're tuned into a totally different frequency. Keep us updated. Good luck (again)
Jools XXXXXX
________
INTERRACIAL LESBIAN (http://www.****tube.com/categories/711/lesbian/videos/1)

[aqua]

Coffeebean

Great to hear from you. If you want to get his baby moving try spicy food (if you haven't already). My youngest was 9 days late. Not that I was bothered about it! As a last night out my H took me to a mexican restaurant. That night I thought I had indigestion (!) and little one was born less than 2 hours later (ouch).

I can't believe what a 'baby' your husband is being. I wounder whay colour the sky is on his planet. Would you like me to come a give him a good kick up the behind?

Take care of yourself and big bump.
aqua.x

[AnnieP]

Oh Coffeebean, poor you! Focus on that gorgeous little baby that you are about to have. Try to cut him off and float him away in your head to a place where he can't hurt you.
Much love
Thinking of you.
xxx

[outoftheblue]

It's an emotional time for all of you and I think your H is terrified. From when he first knew about the baby, he sounds like he's been scared, because for all the things we do in life, even getting married - bringing another life into the world - one that relies on you as parents to be grown -up and make sensible decisions - is the most life changing and responsible thing you can do.
There is no job in the world where you have responsibility for another human's welfare that you would be allowed to do without qualifications and training. But having a baby is seen as the most natural thing in the world and you're allowed to just waltz out of hospital with this tiny dependent human and a couple of manuals and told to get on with it. It can be very very scary and I think your H is freaked because he is going to have to grow up and be both your and the baby's protector for a while when you are at your most vulnerable. Why else would he be persisting with the x-box and jetski. He's saying I'm just a kid myself I can't poss be a parent yet.

I think he fears he is not up to the task and will let you both down. This he may do and whilst of course you need all the support you can get now and over the next few weeks don't assume he doesn't care about you both. See it as his weakness of character. Some men find their wives extra sexy when they are pregnant but for some though Ithink they are ashamed to admit it, feel the opposite, this again may explain his distance. Really don't know about this being a female myself, but it's just a thought.

I will be thinking of all three of you and hope the next few days are more peaceful and happy. You and your baby will have a wonderful future together and I promise you there is no feeling in the world that can match the love you will feel for your child.
Cxx

[Coffeebean]

thank you so much for your kind words. When asked why he was sleeping downstairs he said he couldn't sleep and the d was all over him. Who knows. Having said that he has just come back having bought me 2 dvds and some chocolate. All very strange. He could just be anxious about the baby being born and therefore acting up. Lets see where he sleeps tonight. He won't let me sleep during the day and now won't let me lie down as he says i'm not letting gravity do its job?????

It could be just panic attacks at my end. To answer Bouncy's message (which thank you somuch for taking the time to reply to me) I had to make a decision fast 9 months ago when all this kicked off which was when my h first mentioned that he was waiting for baby to be born or his gran to die. I was 12 weeks at that point. As others know (so please excuse the repetition) my mum stepped in got the family divorce lawyer all the males in the family to take over and set up her house so that I could move in with her and basically arranged it so that he would never see me again everything would be dealt with through family and laywer even custody of child. My h found out through reading an email i sent and after that he did a complete u-turn and became a model husband but never did a retraction of what was previously said. Therefore now that we are 9 months down the line and he is acting so aggressive one wonders whether he always planned to put his threat into operation but the above mentioned plan set up by my mother was never stopped so if need be that is what I will do.

At the moment I am cooking a meal my grandmother gave me do use up some of these chips but have a feeling h will complain. Dog is being naughting which is not helping and I think I will go hide in a bath.

On a nicer note i have just had my mother on the phone telling me her present for Josie is a charm braclet handmade with her name engraved round it in white gold and rose gold. Doesn't that sound lovely :) She must have spent thousands as so far she bought the cot, bath, pram, and now this :)

I couldn't thank you enough outoftheblue for such encouraging words at this time. Having looked at all the points you have raised it would explain a lot of the behavour especially as he keeps swinging in temprement. I found it an uplifting thought to help me through these next couple of days and greatly encouraging.

He does seem to be a mix of dr jeckle and mr hyde. Also I think (as he is quite controlling) that he is struggling that he has no control over this whatsoever and that is why he is trying to control how I sit or sleep or go out etc because its the only thing he has control over.

Could I also ask you all to pray also that this baby is not born on Tuesday. I know this is a strange request any other time would be fine just not 21st :)

The meal didn't go down too badly. At least I didn't get complaints :)

Everyone keep safe x

[Raymond]

Will pray the baby will not come on tuesday. Sounds like hubby is hopefully going through an adjusting period in being a father. Hopefully he will change when baby is born and take another step towards maturity. You and baby are the most important ones just now and it's great how your mother is being supportive and interested. It makes up for him a little.

I,m sure you will be a tremendous mother whatever happens.

Raymond

[Bouncy]

Thanks for the catch up Coffebean.
It's good to know you have a back up plan if needs be.
I'm assuming baby still hasn't arrived and I also will keep fingers crossed for it not to be Tuesday.
I had both my girls 10 days early so can't imagine the frustration you must be going through, especially as baby's arrival may put everything into context for you.
I appreciate your H may be scared and lets hope when he holds his child in his arms that everything else becomes unimportant.
Whatever happens remember you and your baby are the important ones here.
Look after yourself.

[calmfornow]

Hi Coffeebean,
Just wanted to say good luck for Monday. Should just about be able to squeeze this message in before Monday......
Will be thinking of you and hope everything goes smoothly for you.
cfn. x:)

[outoftheblue]

Coffeebean how are you. Hope you're not still waiting. Assuming your lack of posts is because you've got your hands full. Just to let you know I am thinking of you and hope you and all your family are doing ok.

Lots of love
Cxx