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View Full Version : Don't know if he still wants me ??????


shell01
7th August 2007, 02:45 PM
hi,
This is my first time doing this kind of thing.
Been with my hubby for 17 years, married for 12 yrs, got 1 child a boy aged 9. Like many others we've had our ups and downs, (that is part of a marriage) but over the past year it seems to me that we are drifting apart. He's very cold towards me, unable to show his feelings. This is not like him at all, he is a very reliable man, thats why i married him, he's not one of these men who looks at other women, he likes us to do things together. But over the past 3 months he's acting very strange, he can't come near me, if i try to talk to him he gets very angry with me, there has'nt been any sex. There is a young girl across the street from us, she has 4 kids, all have different fathers, he seems to be talking to her alot, he's watching her house to see if is about, as soon as she comes out he is straight across to her. He is been very nice to her kids, and not so nice to his own boy.I have asked him about her, he says he is just been nice.If she drives past he stands there waving like a love struck teenager. She has lived up here for 10 years, and he's never spoken to her before.He says its all in my head.(but i'm not to sure) 2 nights ago i woke him at 2am to try to sort things out, he says we are going through a bad patch and it will get better, just let things sort themselves out, don't push it.(whatever that means). I cant eat anything, feel very low, crying all the time. Don't want to lose him. Havent sleeped properly for 2 months, im totally warn out with all this. Can't think straight, all i can think about is that he is going to leave me. He did tell me that he has been thinking what it would be like to be on his own. he is 39 maybe it's a mid life crisis he's having, i don't know. maybe has grown bored off me, wants somebody younger and prettier. Not sure what to do , is it in head or not.

REALLY NEED SOME ADVICE

IcingOnTheMoon
7th August 2007, 02:56 PM
Hi! And welcome! I'm not the expert on infidelity here, but it is curious that she's lived there for 10 years and all of the sudden he's this friendly toward her...Maybe he is feeling older and bogged down in a marriage. People get that way sometimes and it does not always mean that they're going to cheat. I'm sure there are other opinions here about that. Maybe she said something flattering to him and that's what got him started? Does she reciprocate his actions? Men on the forum, help me out here....if you were feeling old and stuck in a marriage (no offense meant by that, Shell) would you be looking toward a woman with 4 kids from different fathers, even if she was younger?? I'd say keep an eye out, Shell. Has anything else gone on with you two that may have triggered this? Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying whatever's going on with him and the OW is justified. Nor am I saying it's your fault in any way! Just some thoughts!

:)

shell01
7th August 2007, 03:15 PM
hi
thanks for your reply, cant' think of anything that could of triggered this. its so strange, he goes jogging every night, i watch for him to come back( he doesnt see though). he sits on the grass cooling down, starring straight across to her house, then he walks pass looking for her. when they are out there talking, he's laughing with her having such a good time, i feel like going across and punching her face in, is he playing games with me or testing me. i am pretty confused. if she has a problem with her car he going running to try to mend it.
I do think that if he got a chance to well you know what, he would do it.

Lauz
7th August 2007, 06:03 PM
I think your h behaviour is inappropiate and you should tell him how how it makes you feel. DavidH has posted looks of information on MLC. Might be worth having a read through and seeing if anything her matches your h's behaviour.



Another possibility is that of a midlife crisis:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mid-life_crisis
http://midlifecrisisforum.com/6/ubb.x?s=3106003104
http://www.pathpartners.com
http://fortysixty.invisionzone.com/index.php?act=idx
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums...oard=28&page=1
http://lifetwo.com/production/node/2...midlife-crisis

Not everybody has a Mid Life Crisis -- most people go through a Mid Life Transition. About one third cannot cope with the MLT and it becomes a crisis. "MLT becomes a MLC when it takes on the "self-medication" of affairs, rampant spending, and other such unwise and hurtful behaviour."

MLTs/MLCs are triggered by some life-altering event such as the death of a parent, loss of an important job, onset of menopause, etc; even your children growing up and leaving home... "Empty Nest Syndrome"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Empty_nest_syndrome
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/womenshea...atures/ens.htm
http://www.psychologytoday.com/condi...emptynest.html