Geoff
30th July 2007, 10:15 AM
Dear All,
I need to talk with like minded people and my friends arent really the type i can speak with. To give some quick background i have been married previously, and have a child by that marriage, now 10. It ended in 2002, after 5 years. Basically we were too young and didnt really know each other. She cheated in the end and thats it...i see my son every holiday, and ring him 2 times a week. We have a good relationship. In 2003 i met my current partner and we moved in together. We married in jan 2005, and things seemed sweeter than ever. She has a boy and the mother in law is his full time carer as he has special needs. She lives with us too, and is a nice lady. My my natural son, and my step son get along really well. My marriage started to go wrong last year (in my eyes anyway). In October 06 my wife sat me down and said 'she needed some space'. She told me she didnt know how she felt anymore and needed some alone time. I didnt see this coming and we both completely broke down. At the time she was going through some health issues and about to have an operation so i think stress had alot to do with things. These health issues are now long term. Anyway, i had a problem with her wanting her own space and i crowded her for a long time. She would sit upstairs in the bedroom texting, and i would be downstairs in the sunroom drinking to console my self pity..
At the current time we are still together but things havent really improved much. She says she wants her independance and wants to go out and see her friends more and have fun. She tells me she loves me, and i have to believe her. Although i do have mates i see when i`m fishing i tend to think my world revolves around her and want to spend loads of time together....perhaps too much.One of the biggest things i hate is her constant texting. When her phone bill arrives she gets rid of the listed part and just leaves out the summary - which is always massive. I`ve never gone down her phone as she always has it, but while one part of me wants to, the other thinks its dis-trusting, and i`m afriad of what i might find. We have had many many arguments, discussions and chats about stuff and it always seems 'i need to change', trust her, and give her space. Thing is i`m now totally paranoid, and have worked myself into such a state things are always running through my head. I`m on blood pressure pills anyway, and i`ve now tried to use a herbal remedy to calm myself down..i just hope someone on here can give me some advice on what i should do, because i love my wife so much and dont want to loose her.Our sex life is terrible as a result of this, and that is also something (typical male) i miss.
Any advice appreciated.
I need to talk with like minded people and my friends arent really the type i can speak with. To give some quick background i have been married previously, and have a child by that marriage, now 10. It ended in 2002, after 5 years. Basically we were too young and didnt really know each other. She cheated in the end and thats it...i see my son every holiday, and ring him 2 times a week. We have a good relationship. In 2003 i met my current partner and we moved in together. We married in jan 2005, and things seemed sweeter than ever. She has a boy and the mother in law is his full time carer as he has special needs. She lives with us too, and is a nice lady. My my natural son, and my step son get along really well. My marriage started to go wrong last year (in my eyes anyway). In October 06 my wife sat me down and said 'she needed some space'. She told me she didnt know how she felt anymore and needed some alone time. I didnt see this coming and we both completely broke down. At the time she was going through some health issues and about to have an operation so i think stress had alot to do with things. These health issues are now long term. Anyway, i had a problem with her wanting her own space and i crowded her for a long time. She would sit upstairs in the bedroom texting, and i would be downstairs in the sunroom drinking to console my self pity..
At the current time we are still together but things havent really improved much. She says she wants her independance and wants to go out and see her friends more and have fun. She tells me she loves me, and i have to believe her. Although i do have mates i see when i`m fishing i tend to think my world revolves around her and want to spend loads of time together....perhaps too much.One of the biggest things i hate is her constant texting. When her phone bill arrives she gets rid of the listed part and just leaves out the summary - which is always massive. I`ve never gone down her phone as she always has it, but while one part of me wants to, the other thinks its dis-trusting, and i`m afriad of what i might find. We have had many many arguments, discussions and chats about stuff and it always seems 'i need to change', trust her, and give her space. Thing is i`m now totally paranoid, and have worked myself into such a state things are always running through my head. I`m on blood pressure pills anyway, and i`ve now tried to use a herbal remedy to calm myself down..i just hope someone on here can give me some advice on what i should do, because i love my wife so much and dont want to loose her.Our sex life is terrible as a result of this, and that is also something (typical male) i miss.
Any advice appreciated.