OK, try this on for size

[RON]

I am madly in love with my wife, she has a one year affair and says she doesn't remember anything about it. Every night when I close my eyes I can see them having sex, her telling him how great he is and I can't get it out of my mind. What do I do. I'm definitely keeping my wife until death.

[Lauz]

I'm sorry but you don't forget a one year affair? Is she in denial? How did you find out about it?

[DB100]

Ron, you are in shock and I dont blame you.

Not remembering about it is absolute rubbish, sorry but its the truth

The hurt you feel is terrible, I went through it to, we are also trying to work things out, it does get better although you wont think so at the moment

[RON]

I don't understand her refusing to discuss it and maintaining that she remembers nothing about it. Hell, I know every time they were together she was telling him how wonderful he was and how much she loved him. Now she remembers nothing because she says she loves me and wants to forget it ever happened.

[Raymond]

Easier said than done Ron. You haven't said if she has slept with him or not. If she has, it will be adultery, not a light thing. It is very convenient for her to forget it. It is difficult for you to go on without some kind of asking for your forgiveness and being sorry about it. What's to stop it happening again? It doesn't bode well for the future if she is making light of it. Do you really want to be her slave or do you want an equal relationship? I'd tell her how bad you feel about it and how she has broken your trust to see what response you get. It's no good you burying it if there hasn't been a time of getting right with each other. It will niggle on forever. Maybe you have taken her back too easily because you were afraid of losing her, but you have to risk that if you want an open honest relationship.

The time to forgive and forget is when it has been brought out into the open not before.

Raymond

[1aokgal]

Ron...

Stop digging on the scab of this affair. Why do you want to hear the details? Do you want to hear how many condoms were used? Do not do this. She has not forgotten but she is smart enough not to rehash the details with you. You are not smart to keep bringing this event into the present.

She may regret it for more reasons than you can know and may feel terrible. It is over and you should build a better tomorrow. Forgive and try to move past it. You have no right to hear the details. That will just fester more problems. She owes you no blow by blow description. Do not ask for details or you may get them. You will regret hearing this

Move on...make better memories with her. Let her forget this unhappy event and mistake. She chosses to be with you.

[beachcomber]

My husband had an affair 4 months after we were married. We decided that WE were worth saving and we BOTH agreed to do whatever that took (counselling, a lot of talking things out, etc.)...but I would have never, ever, allowed him to disrespect me even more by pretending it didn't happen. I didn't want details as 1aokgal is suggesting you are asking for (I don't think that is what you are digging for is it?)...What I needed from him was honesty and for him to take full responsibility for his actions, to own up to what he had done. I needed him to feel remorse, to apologize, to SHOW me he was sorry...then I was ready to move on and rebuild the trust with him. And I am very happy to say that I have. And now that we have rebuilt it, yes, we bury the past and let it go.
Ignoring it, pretending she doesn't remember or whatever, is a very unhealthy way to deal with it.

[Raymond]

Exactly what I had in mind beachcomber. You put it very well.

Raymond

[cinnamungurl333]

Sorry to hear this Ron. Here's what I think...if she's not willing to talk about it, and passes it off as "forgetting" about it. She does not care enough to mend what went wrong. If I were you I would take a little vacation of your own to give her time to figure out if she really wants to fix things. You've heard the saying..."dont know what you've got till it's gone"????