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ilovejonesy
14th July 2007, 11:04 PM
I am soon to be married but I am a tad worried that my fiancee (we are both christians) and I are going to clash when it comes to sex. I am sure the sex between us will be fabulous once it gets going but I really like the idea of roleplay, I try not to think of it but my mind drifts to it from time to time as something id like to try when we get married. But my fiancee does not like the idea for he says it is probably wrong in Gods eyes, and he wont even discuss it. There are other things which I know the Bible isn't set against that I would also like to try but again he shrugs them off... I am just concerned that we are going to end up having routine sex for the rest of our lives.... am I being paranoid? I have to say its the 'no discussion' part of it that is really bugging me! HELP!

Raymond
15th July 2007, 05:00 PM
Hi Ilovejonesy. You have obviously attached yourself to fantasies which you feel are important to you. Hoever do you want someone just to play out your fantasies or do you want a real husband. Actually the truth is far better that the fantasy. The most exciting sex is based on truth. I had a few fantasies which my wife could not enter into. In the long run they were not important. You have your whole lives to find out how each other ticks in the bedroom. Believe me it is very exciting. Sex will be far from routine. You are like me and my wife but the other way round. I have all the ideas. Some work fantastically. Some should not have been brought up in the first place.

I feel you have built up a wrong anxiety about this. Playing out real life is far more fulfilling and more exciting than a fantasy in your head. Also some fantasies are not right. You will know if you have any which fall in to this category. My wife loves the straight IC but I have to have other stuff happening during foreplay etc. We balance each other out in the end. She keeps my feet on the ground and I probably add the excitement to things which she has said many times.

Therefore don't worry about it. If he is the right man for you God will out work all these things as you look to Him and he is far from stuffy believe me.

Have a wonderful marriage and enjoy the fantastic bedroom adventure that you have ahead of you.

God bless you both
Raymond

danielx
6th August 2007, 08:30 PM
Hello Ilovejonesy,

I've got to say that I disagree with Raymond. I think you and your partner should be able to discuss these matters and I also think that it is essential that you do.

Whatever your interests may be, it seems to me that they are being deliberately dismissed and you are being made to feel guilty about having them by the phrase 'probably wrong in God's eyes'.

I consider my wife a better Christian than myself in many ways, but sexually she is far more adventurous than I. I take the attitude that if I can see nothing wrong, then I will go along with it and see what happens. I have to say that I have usually enjoyed our games, sometimes simply because of her enjoyment. That is part of sharing and marriage, as far as I am concerned.

DX