Dee
9th November 2001, 07:26 PM
I had a baby 8 weeks ago. 9 weeks ago I could not sleep due to contractions so I decided to get up. I surfed the net for a while and then decided to write an e-mail to a friend. It was then that I discovered that I was logged onto my husbands password. He had forgotten to log off before going to bed. When I opened the mail I found several e-mails to a woman he had been having a net affair with. I was numb to say the least. I desided my discovery gave me the right to dig and so I did. I found several files that he had saved that inclueded letters back and forth from each other. SOme were short but dirty such as " mmmm your good" and some were very sweet and romantic such as " I want to hold you in my arms and kiss you soflty" you get the idea. I was and still am furious and devastated by this. My husband was doing this right under my nose. Here I am about to give birth to our first and only child (which by the way is a son, a son he always wanted) and he puts me to bed early everynight with a back rub "to help me feel better" and runs off to the computor. I let him know of my discovery and his ansewer was " it's just a game, it's not even real". What a bunch of %^&*!!
I told him that I highly doubt that this unsuspecting woman felt it was a game as she had professed her love to him. He of course in in denial and says it was not an affair. I let him know that I am no idiot and and that this was in everyway shape and form an affair. The only thing missing was the skin. He shared himself secretivly, both physically and emotionally with another woman.
THAT IS AN AFFAIR!
We had been having issues with porn for the past few years. Everytime I catch him he promises to stop but it's only a short matter of time before it starts again. And now it has progressed to the affair thing. And he wonders why I am so cold and distant from him. I am so tired of all of these other women in his life. And I'm losing my love for him because of it.
I have told him how hurtful and damaging this is. He agrees that it is ( or maybe just says that to shut me up). He goes on his daily routine like nothing has happened. And get's mad at ME when I am in a mood about this still and says that I am wollowing in it. It's only been 9 weeks! I know that he'd like nothing better than for me to just let it go, that would make his life easier. He cut off all ties with her and has changed his e-mail add. He had promised to stop his behavior BUT...........
My husband doesn't know that I know his password. Today I looked at his e-mail. And what do you know!!!! He has a trip planned to Las Vegas on business. I found a letter that he had written to some sort of referal service for hotels etc...(a nice and ligite service by the way) He asked them and these are his exact words...." Can you direct me to what casinos are geared toward ADULT FLAVOR, you know.....excitement....girls"? Looks like he's planning a little fun on the trip.
I don't know what to do with this now. The net stuff was hard enough but knowing that he is actually planning something face to face is now more than I can handle. THe constant lies and deciet are more than I can cope with. If I could leave his sorry
&$% I would. But I have no job skills to make any sort of money on and have a new born baby and a handicapped 10 year old.
What can I do? How can I cope? I want him to know I know about the Vegas letter but I don't want him to know I know password! I deserve to know what's going on even if it means spying on him.
I'm so deprressed and these post partum blues aren't helping matters. Words of hope would be real good right about now.
Thanks for listening
Dee
I told him that I highly doubt that this unsuspecting woman felt it was a game as she had professed her love to him. He of course in in denial and says it was not an affair. I let him know that I am no idiot and and that this was in everyway shape and form an affair. The only thing missing was the skin. He shared himself secretivly, both physically and emotionally with another woman.
THAT IS AN AFFAIR!
We had been having issues with porn for the past few years. Everytime I catch him he promises to stop but it's only a short matter of time before it starts again. And now it has progressed to the affair thing. And he wonders why I am so cold and distant from him. I am so tired of all of these other women in his life. And I'm losing my love for him because of it.
I have told him how hurtful and damaging this is. He agrees that it is ( or maybe just says that to shut me up). He goes on his daily routine like nothing has happened. And get's mad at ME when I am in a mood about this still and says that I am wollowing in it. It's only been 9 weeks! I know that he'd like nothing better than for me to just let it go, that would make his life easier. He cut off all ties with her and has changed his e-mail add. He had promised to stop his behavior BUT...........
My husband doesn't know that I know his password. Today I looked at his e-mail. And what do you know!!!! He has a trip planned to Las Vegas on business. I found a letter that he had written to some sort of referal service for hotels etc...(a nice and ligite service by the way) He asked them and these are his exact words...." Can you direct me to what casinos are geared toward ADULT FLAVOR, you know.....excitement....girls"? Looks like he's planning a little fun on the trip.
I don't know what to do with this now. The net stuff was hard enough but knowing that he is actually planning something face to face is now more than I can handle. THe constant lies and deciet are more than I can cope with. If I could leave his sorry
&$% I would. But I have no job skills to make any sort of money on and have a new born baby and a handicapped 10 year old.
What can I do? How can I cope? I want him to know I know about the Vegas letter but I don't want him to know I know password! I deserve to know what's going on even if it means spying on him.
I'm so deprressed and these post partum blues aren't helping matters. Words of hope would be real good right about now.
Thanks for listening
Dee