FaithFullyLiving
9th July 2007, 11:17 PM
I was married in 2001 and have 2 children (3 and 5). My husband and I had a really bad time of it. We argued all the time. Looking back on it... We both did our jobs.... I did the housewife stuff and he did the providing .... but neither of us ever gave each other the emotional or spiritual needs the other needed. I never felt I could count on him or that he was ever really "there" for me. He felt the same. It all fell apart in 2006 and we had the worse divorce/custody battle you could imagine. It tore us both up. I did get custody and the divorce was final in Jan 07.
I never wanted the divorce. I begged and pleaded to allow us to separate and work it out. He pushed the divorce. We are both believers and followers of Christ... and I couldn't see how he could justify divorceing me and still feel right with God. He just said "God wanted him to divorce me".
Both of us have been surrounded by cloud of anger and hurt. I have spent the past year trying to heal myself. I've taking courses, seen counselors and I have finally came to the the "understanding" and feel at peace with what happened. During this time, I really just kept my distance and only dealt with him when I had to drop or pick up kids or divorce stuff. Other the that I had no contact.
About a couple weeks ago, I started thinking what do I do now? I wonder if he moved on... found someone else? At this point, there has been no reason to believe he has someone else. I also have dated or been with no one. So, I called and talked to him.... told him where I was in my mind and wanted to know if he had "moved on" physically with anyone. He said, "No, I've been with no one. That divorce paper is just a piece of paper, it means nothing".
After talking... over the past week. He and I both feel that we are "bound" to one another through God... We did not have a "Scriptual divorce". He said though, he can not EVER see us getting back together (living together as a married couple) and he wasn't going to even give it a try or do anything that might get us in that direction. He won't even see me in person to talk... he says I confuse him... make him do things he doesn't want to do. I also can't see me back with him in that house as a couple again. There has jsut been so much pain and hurt. I think about it and it's like a black cloud comes over my heart and it's like a nightmare I can't go back to. I know I still love him and he said "I'll always have love for you".
So what are we to do? We are not even considered "friends" at this point. We have two kids who love us and still atleast twice a month, ask me if we are going to get to live together. It's so sad.
I really don't want to be "bound" to some for the rest of my life that I can't even be friends with. I also want to do what GOD wants... My "walk with God" will always come first.
What do I do?????????
I never wanted the divorce. I begged and pleaded to allow us to separate and work it out. He pushed the divorce. We are both believers and followers of Christ... and I couldn't see how he could justify divorceing me and still feel right with God. He just said "God wanted him to divorce me".
Both of us have been surrounded by cloud of anger and hurt. I have spent the past year trying to heal myself. I've taking courses, seen counselors and I have finally came to the the "understanding" and feel at peace with what happened. During this time, I really just kept my distance and only dealt with him when I had to drop or pick up kids or divorce stuff. Other the that I had no contact.
About a couple weeks ago, I started thinking what do I do now? I wonder if he moved on... found someone else? At this point, there has been no reason to believe he has someone else. I also have dated or been with no one. So, I called and talked to him.... told him where I was in my mind and wanted to know if he had "moved on" physically with anyone. He said, "No, I've been with no one. That divorce paper is just a piece of paper, it means nothing".
After talking... over the past week. He and I both feel that we are "bound" to one another through God... We did not have a "Scriptual divorce". He said though, he can not EVER see us getting back together (living together as a married couple) and he wasn't going to even give it a try or do anything that might get us in that direction. He won't even see me in person to talk... he says I confuse him... make him do things he doesn't want to do. I also can't see me back with him in that house as a couple again. There has jsut been so much pain and hurt. I think about it and it's like a black cloud comes over my heart and it's like a nightmare I can't go back to. I know I still love him and he said "I'll always have love for you".
So what are we to do? We are not even considered "friends" at this point. We have two kids who love us and still atleast twice a month, ask me if we are going to get to live together. It's so sad.
I really don't want to be "bound" to some for the rest of my life that I can't even be friends with. I also want to do what GOD wants... My "walk with God" will always come first.
What do I do?????????