packed up and gone

[farny]

Today's been wierd. Wierd feelings going on with me. Over the past week my wife has been staying as a favour for me just to get my youngest to school while i had time to sort things out. As the week progressed, more and more boxes of her things appeared downstairs. Today she left. I drove her to her mums and even carried the stuff up for her. I know you're all gonnna say i can't let go, but i have accepted things now. You can never 'make' someone want you. If the feelings gone, it's gone. Maybe gone for good, maybe not.
Driving home, i didn't feel sad. I didn't really feel anything. Just empty.
I got home and just spent time with the children. Not much conversation. I guess we all had our own feelings going on.
I don't know what will happen now, but i do know that i'm taking time for my children and myself. Thanks for listening to my dribble. Keep strong.

[Raymond]

God bless you Farny. Hope it works out for you. Yes you should keep strong as you say. Life must go on. I hope the children will be alright. This is not the end of the story. You've just got to do your best everyday. Who knows what the future will bring? Life's got a way of working out right if we do the right thing.

Raymond

[farny]

Hi Raymond,
Thankyou for your kind words. I agree, ( well hope to agree in time) that things will work out. Because we have separated on good terms, although very sad and some what painful, we will i'm sure stay friends.
As for the children, ( age 9 and 13), they seem ok. My youngest expresses her emotion with anger so it's easy to test her moods and mood changes. My eldest is different. She's quite quite. She will say she's fine but i can see she is not. We will keep check on them both. As they are with me, it's my job to keep the routines, the fun and the disipline as it was when we were all one family. I've seen it too many times of giving in to requests because of guilt from the parents, or feeling they have to 'make up' for the break up. The important thing is that we all keep communicating and be thruthful and open about our feelings. My wife and i haven't told the children that nothing will change, as clearly things have changed.

[Raymond]

Watch out for your oldest Farny. It's the quite passive anger that turns in on one that does the most damage, especially in children. Try and find ways for her to get it out and express it. I don't mean smashing something, but to find ways for her to express to you what she is feeling. This is for her health's sake. She's only got you to try and express it to, even though it might take time. I think that is so important. You don't want problems way down the line in the future for her.

God bless

Raymond

[farny]

Thanks Raymond,
I couldn't agree more. It is so important to be aware of 'hidden' problems that she may find difficult. She understands that she can come to me with any problem she has. I am very open and honest on all subjects with my girls. There is also a good relationship with her mum and the communication between us in good to, so i'm sure between us we will be ok.