2nd Baby?

[Unregistered]

I have been married to my husband for 10 years. It took me 5 years to persuade him to have my 5 year old daughter. She is the joy of my life and my reason for getting up and going to work everyday. I have always wanted 2 children. My husband kept telling me that he did not want anymore. Last year, I knew if I were to get pregnant, it would have to be an accident. ( We were only using condoms for birth control) As luck would have it, I did get pregnant. I had hoped my husband would change his mind about having another child .
Because it was not planned, he insisted I get an abortion or he would leave me. After a week of stress, I did. Now I need to understand his real reasons for not having another child. Maybe then I can accept it. So far he has not given me any plausible answers.

[Kate]

It is very understandable that you should want to understand why your husband doesn't want any more children especially after what it has cost you all in the last year. Have you tried to approach the subject with him and explain how important it is for you to understand him and where he is coming from? If this proves difficult it might be a good idea to seek help together from a counsellor (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/marriageclinic/counselling/).

You also need to give some thought to contraception in the mean time, as I'm sure you don't want to have to face the pain of another abortion.

May I also suggest that you consider some counselling for yourself. Most women who go through an abortion are deeply affected by it, sometimes without being aware of the effect it has had on them. You can contact Care for Life's Pregnancy Counselling Centres (http://www.pregnancy.org.uk/) in the UK for this sort of help.

I do hope you can find a way forward.