Am I having a MLC too.................?

[calmfornow]

Hi everyone,
I logged on this morning and noticed David H was back. Hope you had a good holiday David. I was reading his latest posts and for some reason clicked on one of his links, Path Partners. Well, it suddenly occurred to me that I could possibly have been having my very own MLC!!! I could relate to so many things and now wonder if this is what has been happening all along. I think h is definately having a MLC but is it possible to both have one at the same time? I must point out though, I have never been unfaithful and never would and this seems to be the only difference between us. My h lost a parent 3 years ago and I have witnessed over the past 3 years a real decline in my mum's health. It really has given me food for thought now. What does everyone think?
Calmfornow.

[David H]

Hi everyone,
I logged on this morning and noticed David H was back. Hope you had a good holiday David.

Yes, thanks!

I was reading his latest posts and for some reason clicked on one of his links, Path Partners. Well, it suddenly occurred to me that I could possibly have been having my very own MLC!!!

Yes, when I researched my situation with my (ex)g/f's MLC I realised that I had been going through a mid life transition without really realising it...

I was self-medicating by becoming emotionally withdrawn and becoming more workaholic -- and I think the beginning of that MLT was when I got a property abroad about 4 years ago...

In fact I think my MLT behaviour actually triggered my (ex)G/F's current mid life crisis

I could relate to so many things and now wonder if this is what has been happening all along. I think h is definately having a MLC but is it possible to both have one at the same time?

Yes, or one triggering another...

I must point out though, I have never been unfaithful and never would and this seems to be the only difference between us.

Not everybody does -- there is a spectrum of behaviours and two thirds of people don't have a crisis at all, only a transition.

My h lost a parent 3 years ago and I have witnessed over the past 3 years a real decline in my mum's health. It really has given me food for thought now. What does everyone think?

Not everybody has a Mid Life Crisis -- most people go through a Mid Life Transition. About one third cannot cope with the MLT and it becomes a crisis. "MLT becomes a MLC when it takes on the "self-medication" of affairs, rampant spending, and other such unwise and hurtful behaviour."
MLTs/MLCs are triggered by some life-altering event such as the death of a parent, loss of an important job, etc; even your children growing up and leaving home... "Empty Nest Syndrome"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Empty_nest_syndrome
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/womenshealth/features/ens.htm

David

[calmfornow]

Thanks for that David. I think I am now beginning to understand about things that my h has done. He is having a MLC and it would appear that I have been having a MLT.
Unfortunately, as my children are only 7 and 3 and as I am 40 it really looks as if I am destined to deal with the menopause and possibly empty nest syndrome at the same time!!! Bad timing :( .
Calmfornow.