Well I have dont it - Chucked him out!!!

[Anne22]

Hi

Just an update - one of my dear friends did say to me she couldnt believe how I was managing to play happy families knowing what I know!!!

It has been exactly a month since my h mistress sent me a voice txt telling me she had been having an affair with my h for the past 5 years and that before that he was having an affair for 3 years!!!

My world came crashing down around me - particularly as my h and I had spent (or so I thought) 16 months trying to mend our broken marriage as he had admitted to several flings with a couple of people one of which was one of my so-called best friends! We did the relate thing and i got him to have a std test etc and I had given him lots of opportunity to wipe the slate clean etc!!!

My friend continued to say I think you will continue doing this until he pushes you one time too many!!!

Well my friends that happened last night - he said he was in London on business and would be home late ie not for supper! At 605 pm he rang to say he was just leaving London (2and a half - 3 hrs away!) so by 10pm I was getting angry!!!

I rang him on his mobile several times (actually about 10 times!!!) and he didnt pick up - then eventually picked up and when I asked him where he was he mentioned that he was about 15 mins away in a town near ours and that he had stopped there because he was tired!!! I then realised that he had no need to go near this town on his route etc etc!!!!

I was livid and rang him back saying not to bother coming home tonight as I was locking up and going to bed!!

15 mins later turned up at home but by then all lights off and doors locked. He slept in his car overnight and feeling very strong I went to the car at 7 am this morning where I found him asleep and said he had better come in and gather some clothes and go!!!!

I dont know where I got this strength from but I suppose the tiem had come and 'enough is enough'

He was unable and chose not to explain his reasons for being where he was and I have decided I am not going to allow him to behave this way anymore!

Daughter still in Europe and son off Monday to Spain with friends so have told him I will tell the kids he is away on business in Switzerland (is due to go soon and kids know that!!!) until 22nd when he can come back and 'we' will talk to the kids!!!

Didn't want to lie to the kids but feel it would be best to tell them together!!!!

So here I am again on my own!!!! Feels very different now - not worrying about where he is who he is with etc - recon I will sleep better tonight!!

Sorry to waffle on but beena really big day for me - I feel better by sharing all with you - thanks

Anne22 xx

[Hopeful0788]

Congratulations! I know this is a very big and hard step for you but in light of the circumstances I believe you have done the remarkable thing for your self. I haven't been posting here long but anything I can do to listen or help, I will be here for ya. I really do believe that you will feel better knowing that you are respecting yourself now since he obviously wasn't. It will be very hard of course but liberating! Lots of hugs and prayers.

[jo71]

Wow Anne. That must have been difficult, but I'm so glad you found strength to not let anyone walk on you ANY MORE!! I'm proud of you for realizing that you are more valuable than being lied to and deceived. Stay strong.

Love and hugs,
Jo

[Helen_uk]

Hi Anne

I'm glad you found the strength to do what you knew you were going to have to, well done you.

One thing I've found since I chucked Steve out is that I no longer have to worry about where he is or what he's up to... or with whom ! It's not my problem any more, and there is a sense of freedom in that.I've also decided that I will probably never know what happened, so, taking what I've learned from the whole experience into the future with me, I'm not even going to try and figure it out.

Your h, like mine, has lied to the bitter end. They don't deserve us.

Keep hold of your anger for a few days more, it will get you through the bumpy ride .

Not sure if it will work for you, but I've been practicing David's 180 approach , I respond to txts.. if I consider them important, but I don't txt or phone him, only been doing it a few days and it's amazing how much better I feel already.( I know he's getting irritated by it, because his txts are showing it, I was always the one who stayed in contact before !)

The first week is hell, but then it starts to get better....

Take care Anne and keep posting.


Love

Helen xx

[callow]

Hi Anne

I am sending you Hugs and will be thinking of you in the coming days.

I think that a lot of the people that leave can never face the truth. Even if you ask for the truth you will never know if it is a lie or not. Although your children will be sad, you will be showing them that it is not acceptable to be treated the way your husband has treated you.

I think that your husband went out of his way to get caught. He didn't have the guts to end the relationship himself so let you do it.

Keep strong

Sally

[markus]

Well done ;)

[jo71]

One thing I've found since I chucked Steve out is that I no longer have to worry about where he is or what he's up to... or with whom ! It's not my problem any more, and there is a sense of freedom in that.I've also decided that I will probably never know what happened, so, taking what I've learned from the whole experience into the future with me, I'm not even going to try and figure it out.

Your h, like mine, has lied to the bitter end. They don't deserve us.

Keep hold of your anger for a few days more, it will get you through the bumpy ride .

Not sure if it will work for you, but I've been practicing David's 180 approach , I respond to txts.. if I consider them important, but I don't txt or phone him, only been doing it a few days and it's amazing how much better I feel already.( I know he's getting irritated by it, because his txts are showing it, I was always the one who stayed in contact before !)

The first week is hell, but then it starts to get better....


(((Helen)))...it sounds like you're starting to feel a little better...I'm so happy to hear you making these positive comments! :) You are making steps toward happiness!

Jo

[Coffeebean]

just sending you all my prayers at this time and hope you are coping ok.

[Anne22]

Thanks everyone - so supportive to have your comments - all the while still reeling from it all!

Had a couple of days or horrid emailing back and forth. Not rung my h just let hm ring me - has annoyed him but in a way not looking to annoy him just have a bit of peace to prepare for what is ahead!

He has rung everyday once to talk I think!!! Feels he now is starting to see the light - smacks of shutting the gate once the horse has bolted!!!

Anyway spoke frankly today about not wanting him back and having to tell the kids he is still hoping I wont and that things will work out - still in my heart I want to wake up and all this be gone but my head is winning and I even slept for 7 hours last night!!!

Am extremely worried about money matters - but wrote a letter to my solicitor to explain the developments here asking questions about should I change the locks etc etc.

Well thanks again everyone I really appreciate it.

Love Anne22 xx