after 25 years

[scotsjohn]

hello everyone im looking for some advice or help , we are married over 25 years got one grown up girl 22 still living with us we dont have any money problems no debt so to speak but we dont have really anything in common anymore , i stopped drinking ove 13 years ago i guess ive changed a lot in that time my wife still likes a drink but does not have a problem we just argue any time she is drinking we dont do anything together at all i feel my life is going knowhere i come home from work and we dont even talk ,there is no sex and when she does want sex its only when she is drunk and i cant stand her like that ive asked her to go out to the movies or the theatre but she does not want to i feel she is just happy with her home and her bank book we both are 47 do we stay together for another ten years and end up hating each other any advice would be great thank you
john

[jo71]

do we stay together for another ten years and end up hating each other

Well, that certainly isn't the answer, but neither is splitting. I am just a believer in marriage vows, and you made a commitment to this woman. That's not to say that you should suffer though...you need to make her aware of how unhappy you are and tell her you want for your marriage to work and get better, and let her know that if it doesn't, you can't go on another 10 (or 5 or whatever) years like this. Once she is aware of this, I'm sure she will want to do what it takes to get your marriage spicy again! :) You'll both need to address issues that have gotten you to where you are...meaning you'll need to be open to her telling you what it is about you that has turned her off...and honest with her about the same. If she doesn't seem to acknowledge that things need to change (after a given about of time) and doesn't put forth any effort into working toward that change, you've done all you can do.

I really wish you the best of luck...25 years is a lot of years of love and companionship to just throw away.

Jo