I am in total shock

[Sad Lisa Lisa]

This morning my husband of 2 years informed me that he had had enough and was leaving me.

History: I was widowed 5 years ago after a 12 year marriage and had two children, now 18 and 16. I met my current husband and married 2 years ago and he has 4 children, two girls aged 5 and 10. He didnt have much access and was broke, but I fell in love.

Over the years I helped him gain shared custody after they were abused in their Mothers house, and helped pay legal fees, set the house up, buy a bigger house, work full time to provide for all of them while he "looked after" them etc etc.

He now walks out, and I had to go to work today and put on a brave face, while not knowing he was back at our house packing bags and telling my children who were unaware what happened, why he was leaving. Apparently his 2 little girls are "uncomfortable" around me so their councellor meeting with my husband the previous day disclosed. All I do is tell them no and give them boundaries whereas their Mother lets them have everything they want.

So now he has left and upset my children as he was a coward and couldnt tell me directly. Also he hates my dead husband as my children and I have the audacity to talk and reminise about him every now and then. Unbelievable.

So people, I have noone to turn to, am so shell shocked and confused, and find myself so very angry and hurt that after all I have done for him, I am now broke while working my ass off and have two very hurt children.

I tryed to call him after I found out he got my children so upset while not even having the guts to tell me, and his phone was turned off, I left a message that he and him children are no longer welcome, called him a coward and to stay away while I pack his and his childrens things. Then screamed at him that he was a a damned (edited) coward !

Why oh why do we do this to ourselves.

Love hurts.

[1aokgal]

Dear Lisa........

I am so sorry about your situation. What an ugly turn of events. There is never a guarantee that a marriage will work but this ending is really ugly. He does not sound like any prize but the way he chooses to leave is down and dirty.
There is one thing I urge you to do and that is to tone down the violence and drama of your interaction with him right away! Next, his children are not to blame for these events so don't paint them with the same brush as this guy. These are children and they have lost a home and emotional stability as well. The children do not need to witness the anger you have toward their father or the two of you in conflict.
You may feel later how lucky you are to be rid of this guy. Concentrate on your job and use your coping skills to work through dealing with him to resolve issues. You will get a lot more cooperation to help you set up a single household with some calm dialog. You need to keep a spiders mentality. Figure out your options and use youe feminine side to get help from him so you will be able to survive without him. If he feels guilty that is great..get some help financial or other help you need.
Don't dissolve into self pity but keep your wits about you. See about your social network as family and friends. Get legal advice and make sure his name is off all accounts. Good luck to you. See if there is a separated/divorced group, counselling or pastoral advice available.

[markus]

Round up all his stuff and dump them on the pavement ... change the locks and concentrate on you and your children
Dont have him back ...

[Bishek]

If markus would be a woman, i would probably as her for a date.
UR huband, thingi, as markus sais, is a piece of sheet
Do acordingly as in WC.

[casanova123]

The awful truth is, bad things can happen even to nice people. All you have to do is hold your head up high and continue living. You don't need him anyway!


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