fluffer
8th April 2007, 02:25 PM
Hi I'm just trying to get a fresh angle on my unhappy marriage.
I met my husband 5 years ago on holiday, we had a real whirl wind romance. From the moment I saw him I knew we would have somthing together. After 3 months of blissfull happyness like I'd never felt before, I found out I was pregnant. I knew it was an accident but I could'nt stop smileing all over my face, I was 29 at the time. When I told him he was less than happy. He accused me of trying to trap him?? Not like he had anything. I really felt that I had to choose between him and my baby. So I chose him and had a termination. It feels like the biggest mistake and I regret it every day. We stayed together and after 8 months I had to go home from my extended holiday, but he did'nt want to come with me so I left him there and he stayed for another 4 months. He was'nt the best at keeping in touch but I e-mailed him all the time. After 4 months he had a byke accident and seriously injured himself, so I got on a plane and ran to his side, he was in India. I payed for him to stay in a nice hotel, when I arrived he was staying in a dirty horrible room with no windows, because he had no money. I nursed him back to health his family in Israel did nothing. I put him on a plane and sent him home to his mum.
After I got home we kept in touch and he told me he wanted to come to England to be with me. He could only get a tourist visa but said it did'nt matter as he could get work anyway. I ended up supporting him for more or less the full year, and it put so much strain on me I don't know how I got through it. In this time I really went off sex, because basically it only seemed to be about his fullfillment. He just dosen't know how to touch me and dosn't seem to be bothered if I get off or not. If I didn't want to have sex he'd tell me that I was gay and make out like it's a joke. It's not funny. At the end of his tourist visa we had talked about marriage but he never proposed he just said in an argument "well are we gonna get married or not?" and I felt like if I didn't agree I would never see him again. I wasen't ready to end the relationship I was so bessotted with him I couldn't just let him walk out of my life.
So we got married. In the registry office. It was horrible. We went there on the bus, and I payed for everything even the clothes he stood up in. I haven't got an engagment ring, and we didn't have a reception just went to a bar. Dosen't exactly make me feel special, but I just thought at the time I love him all that sfuff's not important.!
4 days later his visa was up and he had to leave the country.! I just fell to pieces, I was having panic attacks, I had to move out of the place we shared together and my head was well and truely up my rear end. After 3 weeks he tried to reenter the country on another tourist visa but was refused, this was so traumatic for me. He never suggested that I come to Israel to stay with him it's always been his plan to come and live here. He didn't get a visa sorted he kind of expected me to do it, but I couldn't. He smoked alot of dope at the time and never got off his arse.
After 6 months apart he finally relented and let me come over there to live but I couldn't speak the laungage so couldn't work. I didn't have any money and would have taken classes if I could. He was always very impatient with me so I found it hard to learn from him, he'd get anoyed when I asked him what this and that means all the time. After 4 months he said he couldn't afford to keep me anymore and sent me back to the uk to save money to get him a visa. He just expected me to magic the money from nowere. When I got back I was homeless and had to stay in a B+B it was horrible, but he still expected me to magic over a thousand pounds for a deposit on a place. After the first three weeks he really started putting pressure on me, but I had dental problems and spent the money I had saved on that, wich he resented, but what could I do I was in alot of pain.
He stayed were he was for another 10 months befor I managed to get sorted with a place wich I shared with a friend. He was accusing me the whole time of cheating and allsorts. He didn't speak to me for over a month at one point (over christmas) and I really thought our relationship was over just like that. When he called me I was compleatly hysterical.
So he came back to the uk, with the correct visa and work permit and lived with me in the house I shared with my friend. Again he didn't go to work for 4 months. I was working 12 hour shifts out of the house for 16 hours a day while he sat around at home smokeing weed, that I had payed for. I'd get home and he'd do nothing but moan about the house, my friend he didn't like and her kids he hated. I felt ashamed he said some horrible things and in the end we had to move out.
Now we're in our own place. I was unemployed for 3 weeks but now I'm back at work. His mother lent us the money for the deposit, so everytime he gets in a mood he threatens to throw me out on the street. Our sex life is rubbish because he just cares about himself, I'v only had 2 orgasms in all the time I'v known him. He only seems inerested in penitration. I'v tried to talk to him about it but he said it's me with the problem. He told me last night that I'v never satisfied him and he dosen't fancy me.
He said I don't turn him on and he wants me to be like the women in his many porn films. He dosen't like any body hair and said its a turn off but I'm quite hairy I shave but not every day. He also only wants anal sex without any lube and said I'm boreing for not enjoying this.
I was sick just befor christmas and had to got to hospital for an opperation, and he was horrible, he didn't even want to take me to the doctors when I told him I was in alot of pain for over a week. that would meen getting out of bed at 9am. He neglected me when I was disscharged. I wasen't capable of getting myself food and he didn't bother getting out of bed till after 2 pm so I starved, and I was Ill for alot longer.
Please give me your opinions my mind is so confused. I love this man but I don't think he's ever loved me.
I met my husband 5 years ago on holiday, we had a real whirl wind romance. From the moment I saw him I knew we would have somthing together. After 3 months of blissfull happyness like I'd never felt before, I found out I was pregnant. I knew it was an accident but I could'nt stop smileing all over my face, I was 29 at the time. When I told him he was less than happy. He accused me of trying to trap him?? Not like he had anything. I really felt that I had to choose between him and my baby. So I chose him and had a termination. It feels like the biggest mistake and I regret it every day. We stayed together and after 8 months I had to go home from my extended holiday, but he did'nt want to come with me so I left him there and he stayed for another 4 months. He was'nt the best at keeping in touch but I e-mailed him all the time. After 4 months he had a byke accident and seriously injured himself, so I got on a plane and ran to his side, he was in India. I payed for him to stay in a nice hotel, when I arrived he was staying in a dirty horrible room with no windows, because he had no money. I nursed him back to health his family in Israel did nothing. I put him on a plane and sent him home to his mum.
After I got home we kept in touch and he told me he wanted to come to England to be with me. He could only get a tourist visa but said it did'nt matter as he could get work anyway. I ended up supporting him for more or less the full year, and it put so much strain on me I don't know how I got through it. In this time I really went off sex, because basically it only seemed to be about his fullfillment. He just dosen't know how to touch me and dosn't seem to be bothered if I get off or not. If I didn't want to have sex he'd tell me that I was gay and make out like it's a joke. It's not funny. At the end of his tourist visa we had talked about marriage but he never proposed he just said in an argument "well are we gonna get married or not?" and I felt like if I didn't agree I would never see him again. I wasen't ready to end the relationship I was so bessotted with him I couldn't just let him walk out of my life.
So we got married. In the registry office. It was horrible. We went there on the bus, and I payed for everything even the clothes he stood up in. I haven't got an engagment ring, and we didn't have a reception just went to a bar. Dosen't exactly make me feel special, but I just thought at the time I love him all that sfuff's not important.!
4 days later his visa was up and he had to leave the country.! I just fell to pieces, I was having panic attacks, I had to move out of the place we shared together and my head was well and truely up my rear end. After 3 weeks he tried to reenter the country on another tourist visa but was refused, this was so traumatic for me. He never suggested that I come to Israel to stay with him it's always been his plan to come and live here. He didn't get a visa sorted he kind of expected me to do it, but I couldn't. He smoked alot of dope at the time and never got off his arse.
After 6 months apart he finally relented and let me come over there to live but I couldn't speak the laungage so couldn't work. I didn't have any money and would have taken classes if I could. He was always very impatient with me so I found it hard to learn from him, he'd get anoyed when I asked him what this and that means all the time. After 4 months he said he couldn't afford to keep me anymore and sent me back to the uk to save money to get him a visa. He just expected me to magic the money from nowere. When I got back I was homeless and had to stay in a B+B it was horrible, but he still expected me to magic over a thousand pounds for a deposit on a place. After the first three weeks he really started putting pressure on me, but I had dental problems and spent the money I had saved on that, wich he resented, but what could I do I was in alot of pain.
He stayed were he was for another 10 months befor I managed to get sorted with a place wich I shared with a friend. He was accusing me the whole time of cheating and allsorts. He didn't speak to me for over a month at one point (over christmas) and I really thought our relationship was over just like that. When he called me I was compleatly hysterical.
So he came back to the uk, with the correct visa and work permit and lived with me in the house I shared with my friend. Again he didn't go to work for 4 months. I was working 12 hour shifts out of the house for 16 hours a day while he sat around at home smokeing weed, that I had payed for. I'd get home and he'd do nothing but moan about the house, my friend he didn't like and her kids he hated. I felt ashamed he said some horrible things and in the end we had to move out.
Now we're in our own place. I was unemployed for 3 weeks but now I'm back at work. His mother lent us the money for the deposit, so everytime he gets in a mood he threatens to throw me out on the street. Our sex life is rubbish because he just cares about himself, I'v only had 2 orgasms in all the time I'v known him. He only seems inerested in penitration. I'v tried to talk to him about it but he said it's me with the problem. He told me last night that I'v never satisfied him and he dosen't fancy me.
He said I don't turn him on and he wants me to be like the women in his many porn films. He dosen't like any body hair and said its a turn off but I'm quite hairy I shave but not every day. He also only wants anal sex without any lube and said I'm boreing for not enjoying this.
I was sick just befor christmas and had to got to hospital for an opperation, and he was horrible, he didn't even want to take me to the doctors when I told him I was in alot of pain for over a week. that would meen getting out of bed at 9am. He neglected me when I was disscharged. I wasen't capable of getting myself food and he didn't bother getting out of bed till after 2 pm so I starved, and I was Ill for alot longer.
Please give me your opinions my mind is so confused. I love this man but I don't think he's ever loved me.