Husband additcted to online dating sites

[3333]

My husband lies about being on every dating site there is on the net. He profiles himself as single and needing a travel partner. Has time and money to travel. I can't get him to even talk about it when I confront him. He says he will stop and then he just hides the profile thinking I can't find it. He is a very selfish, man that is incapable of showing love. He thinks that because he provides a house and food and has paid off my bills, that is love. Should that be enough? Should I ignore what he does and how un-caring he is just because I have a place to live and food to eat? I was in debt when we married, but I was managing. I had a home and a car and a job. After we got married, I got fired from my job. He bought me a franchise to work from home. So now I am completely indebted to him. He throws it up constantly. I have a place to live and food and a business and medical insurance "because he married me". I am so sick of hearing that.
I have lost my independence, my daughter and my grand children because of him. (They don't like him because he drinks and basically treats me like garbage.)
Is it worth it? He says he can do what he wants because "he has all the gold". I swear that is what he said to me.
I think I would rather be a bag lady.

[anna.p]

you were independent once before and you sound like you want out. You would be able to reconnect with your daughter and her children easily I am sure, if you have decided you have had enough, tell him he can shove his money, medical insurance and all, and he can go on all the single sights he wants, cos he is now.

Life is for living, and although sometimes it is really had, it can be good, and is this how you want to live?

He doesn't sound like he is prepared to put and effort into the marriage, so you can either put up with it and spend the rest of your life as it is now, or decide you are worth more which I think you have now decided , and find yourself again.

good luck, anna

[Raymond]

It is more than likeley your husband is involved with talk on sex on these dating sites and is getting satisfaction from other women even verbally. It is a kind of adultery and you are quite justified in getting out of the marriage if you wanted to. A loving marriage is more important than stuff, so is your self respect. You will make out if you have courage and probably get his attention in the process.

Raymond

[David H]

He is a very selfish man that is incapable of showing love. He thinks that because he provides a house and food and has paid off my bills, that is love.

Sounds like he is a narcissist

More on Narcissists:
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/FAQ/1804
http://www.healthyplace.com/communities/personality_disorders/narcissism/faq_index.html

David

[CAROLINE YIA]

hi my name is caroline i have been with my husband since the age of 14 and now i am 38 this year we have 4 children a daughter of 20 and son of16 and son of12 and daughter age 10,now where do i start will i got married at 17 and was with child and married on the 2nd may 1987 i have been with my husband for a grand total of 23 yrs yes all my life so to speak as he was my first boyfriend ect and i have never been with any other man what so ever and yes i take my marriage and family very serious so now i will begin my story it all started back in 2000 when we moved to hertfordshire for a clea fresh start as i was living in london and i did not want my kids to grow up any more there as london was becoming to bad after a year my huband started this new job working for a taxi company where he made friends with a nasty man called staurt who roped my husband in to meeting female friends of his and his wife and then one female came along and before you new it my husband and her was having a so called affair and i caught them out which was not a pretty site as i sorry to say i beat them both up and i no my action where wrong but what could i do but to fight what was mine and had been for such a long time with history between us both and there was kids to think of then once that was broken off and he came back things have just got worst and worst we seem to break up every year all thought internet porn and other sick to my stomach stuff he has signed up to so many dating site ect that i manage to get in to on of his log in`s to find total horrier that in most of his profile how he lie that he is single or even seperated and lies and so 2faced ect and then only this weeknd well on saturday 5th may 2007 i found that he has been on these speed dating site ect and to find more upset that he states the he is married and looking ect and states that he needsto be love and does not get when you are married ect and that he was blackmailed which is a total lie ect so i showed him what i had found and would you belived he just carried on with what he was doing this cold heart man or should i say mouse did not even explain why he did it and no only that i am sure he has been up to his ticks with the webcam at work coz he does all this at work which is wrong. he works all hours and leave`s for work at half 5 and sometimes never gets home till 9pm or even later and my poor yonger 2 sit up and wait and by the time he gets home they are in bed coz it`s to late so most of the time they never get to see him or should i say he never finds the time to be with them he makes unforfilled promises to them which he never keeps i have to live on peanuts and make do i fed up with my heart and trust being smashed by this man and turning me into some moster he has caused me to not trust him what so ever as he say`s in the past he will stop and never does he lies to these females and he has never open up to me ever and goes on these sites and opens up to other females who dont know me or my married life dont it si any of there business i no when my husband is playing up coz it`s written so badly all over his face so why does he do this whatright does he have to treat me like this i dont deserve it and i dont deserve to be hurt and heart broken all the time when he is the one that is doing this not me and my poor kids stuffer just as much at his age which is 43 this year he should be a well settled down family man instead he had more space then space it self and had more mid life crisis then any male or female i no so now i sit here thinkingwhat do i do next and all that comes back to me is why does he do this why does he hurt us what kids he gets out of doing this to us why does he tell so many lies to others and why does he go on these sites when he is married i feel that if you take that next step to marriage and then have kids you no you both it`s for life so to speak the true love ect yes i may be a fool and say yes i do truely love him he is my life he is the father of my kids ect but there is no reason in the whole to do this to me and treat me like this if only he open up more then i would meet his needs for god sakes us women have needs but there is a differents we just have to deal with it and carry on coz there is more to life then dealing with sex sex sex unlike men so please some one tell me what would you do if this was you coz at this moment i feel hurt heart broken ect and to me its like 2 fingers up to our marriage and that it near meant nothing to him what so ever

[CAROLINE YIA]

#5
CAROLINE YIA
Registered User


Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 1 Re: Husband additcted to online dating sites

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hi my name is caroline i have been with my husband since the age of 14 and now i am 38 this year we have 4 children a daughter of 20 and son of16 and son of12 and daughter age 10,now where do i start will i got married at 17 and was with child and married on the 2nd may 1987 i have been with my husband for a grand total of 23 yrs yes all my life so to speak as he was my first boyfriend ect and i have never been with any other man what so ever and yes i take my marriage and family very serious so now i will begin my story it all started back in 2000 when we moved to hertfordshire for a clea fresh start as i was living in london and i did not want my kids to grow up any more there as london was becoming to bad after a year my huband started this new job working for a taxi company where he made friends with a nasty man called staurt who roped my husband in to meeting female friends of his and his wife and then one female came along and before you new it my husband and her was having a so called affair and i caught them out which was not a pretty site as i sorry to say i beat them both up and i no my action where wrong but what could i do but to fight what was mine and had been for such a long time with history between us both and there was kids to think of then once that was broken off and he came back things have just got worst and worst we seem to break up every year all thought internet porn and other sick to my stomach stuff he has signed up to so many dating site ect that i manage to get in to on of his log in`s to find total horrier that in most of his profile how he lie that he is single or even seperated and lies and so 2faced ect and then only this weeknd well on saturday 5th may 2007 i found that he has been on these speed dating site ect and to find more upset that he states the he is married and looking ect and states that he needsto be love and does not get when you are married ect and that he was blackmailed which is a total lie ect so i showed him what i had found and would you belived he just carried on with what he was doing this cold heart man or should i say mouse did not even explain why he did it and no only that i am sure he has been up to his ticks with the webcam at work coz he does all this at work which is wrong. he works all hours and leave`s for work at half 5 and sometimes never gets home till 9pm or even later and my poor yonger 2 sit up and wait and by the time he gets home they are in bed coz it`s to late so most of the time they never get to see him or should i say he never finds the time to be with them he makes unforfilled promises to them which he never keeps i have to live on peanuts and make do i fed up with my heart and trust being smashed by this man and turning me into some moster he has caused me to not trust him what so ever as he say`s in the past he will stop and never does he lies to these females and he has never open up to me ever and goes on these sites and opens up to other females who dont know me or my married life dont it si any of there business i no when my husband is playing up coz it`s written so badly all over his face so why does he do this whatright does he have to treat me like this i dont deserve it and i dont deserve to be hurt and heart broken all the time when he is the one that is doing this not me and my poor kids stuffer just as much at his age which is 43 this year he should be a well settled down family man instead he had more space then space it self and had more mid life crisis then any male or female i no so now i sit here thinkingwhat do i do next and all that comes back to me is why does he do this why does he hurt us what kids he gets out of doing this to us why does he tell so many lies to others and why does he go on these sites when he is married i feel that if you take that next step to marriage and then have kids you no you both it`s for life so to speak the true love ect yes i may be a fool and say yes i do truely love him he is my life he is the father of my kids ect but there is no reason in the whole to do this to me and treat me like this if only he open up more then i would meet his needs for god sakes us women have needs but there is a differents we just have to deal with it and carry on coz there is more to life then dealing with sex sex sex unlike men so please some one tell me what would you do if this was you coz at this moment i feel hurt heart broken ect and to me its like 2 fingers up to our marriage and that it near meant nothing to him what so ever

[Raymond]

I feel for you Caroline. The way he is behaving is like adultery. He is killing the sex not you. Porn etc. is one sure way to kill the intimacy in marriage. It's a deception that will make him like a pig if he doesn't stop it. It's no fun when you become a porn addict. It can change your personality for the worse.

There's plenty about it on here. Your husband has to see the damage he is doing. He is not worthy to sleep with you at the moment having mental sex with all those images. It can pollute your marriage especially the bedroom part of it. Please believe me about this. It's no wonder you feel as you do. That is not what sex is supposed to be, but an aberration of it.

You will have to be strong in this Caroline and not a doormat as he is defiling you while he is like this.

Raymond