Confused please help!!!!

[easter bunny]

I met my partner last year in february thought he was really genuine and loved me for who i was i also have a teenage daughter from a previous abusive relationship. He was fully aware of my past and how difficult i found trusting a man again, we were always together then in april i was moving into my new home and asked him (gave him the option) if he would like to move in with me he appeared over the moon and we moved in to gether very rarely argued i thought all was well, anyway in my profession i worked nights and last thurs as i was on duty i received a phone call from my daughter telling me that he had packed his stuff and left with no reason just a note on my bed. I tried to contact him but unfortunately no response its best to run away from you problems then confront them after days of pulling my hair head and looking for answers in conversation asked what did he do whilst i was at work in which she informed me that he spent a lot of time on the web.. I some how found out that he had been on these sex chat rooms and chatlogs i was dumb founded couldnt believe that he could do this to me just destroy my life overnightwith no reason. I would like anyone out there who can shed some light in why people go on these lines my fear is not knowing what he has been doing im so confused. Was i not enough for him??? and obviously he could never have had feelings for me because you just dont do this to anyone????????

[Raymond]

I feel for you Easter Bunny. This problem is well discussed on these forums particularly on the one about pornography. There seems to be many experiencing a measure of the problem you have encountered on here. I know that doesn't help you now. I always say it's a kind of mental adultery which destroys the intimacy between couples. You must feel devastated after allowing him into your own home.

Please don't take it personally it can happen to the best of ladies. The problem is his but became yours when you shared your life with him and became vulnerable.
He has dishonoured the trust you gave him by a sexual lust which is not faithful to you alone.

Thank God he exposed himself early. Many have to live with it for years. Be thankful he is gone and out of your life for good. Try and choose a person of character next time.

Raymond

[easter bunny]

Thank you Raymond for your understanding words i will keep them in mind

[mutiny08]

There is a good chance he was genuine and did love you for who u were. I don't necessarily see a problem with people viewing pornography so long as it doesnt interfere with their relationship in the sense that they are watching it instead of being with their partner. I think one can view pornography without lusting after the people in it. On the other hand, you say he was in chat rooms and so forth... that becomes more of a personal thing then when he is actually relating to someone else.
Were the conversations he had with people explicit and with females? many sex chat rooms are the funniest things one could ever see. my friends and i used to go in them just to watch people make asses out of themselves lol.

On to the point... he left. It could have been any number of reasons, least of all are because of u. Some men just dont know what they want. One thing can seem perfect one minute and then completely different the next. maybe he thought he could live with that lifestyle and then found out he just couldnt. i personally believe it would have been the more gentlemanly thing to at least write a reason in the note, but everyone is different. getting up and walking out of a relationship is a hard thing, and i assume he just didnt want to deal with it (as most men dont).

I would say stay strong and move on. if he doesnt feel the need or desire to talk to you, dont push for it.

[Raymond]

You obviously do not understand pornography or what it does to a man and the way it also affects his partner. Forgive me but I think you talk a lot of rubbish.

Raymond

[A_B_laben]

WOW, a real sad story. But thank god he reviled himself in time, either he can give you harmful physical & mental strike. I know after all these you probably going through a rough time. and I am sorry for that. But your life is not about these guy, you like it or not but you have to look forward. at least try to do that for your daughter.

[Sam]

I know it is easy for me to say... but be glad you found out early.

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[1aokgal]

Dear Easter Bunny...

The hair stood up on the back of my neck when I read your letter!! You let this guy move into your home with you and your teenage daughter? In fact, she called you and let you know he packed his things and left. She was left alone with this guy in the house while you worked. Do you trust anyone that much to be with your girl? That would never happen with me. I guarded my daughter like the crown jewels.

NO, NO, NO do NOT ever again take such a risk as to have some guy move into your home. That could have turned into the biggest tragedy of all time. In fact, you learned he was on sex chat lines and such while you worked and your teenage girl was in the home. Got the picture? How do you know he was not a worm who got close to you to get close to her?

Thank God he left. What a blessing for you that he got out and there was no awful thing to occur there. Please, lady, never let someone move into your turf with your child there. Do I have a dirty mind? You bet! I read the newspapers and heard so many terrible stories about this. In fact, I feel that you don't live in "sin' is a great idea. When you share a home let it be to someone you marry or wait until your girl goes safe off to college before bringing a man under the roof.

A woman who shares a roof seldom marries that man. Remember the old "cow" adage. When it is so comfortable sharing a bed there is no reason to make it permanent. Statistics say that does not work living together most of the time.

You said he "destroyed your life" ...NO, NO ..sounds like you work and provide a good home for you and your child and did OK. Perhaps you convinced yourself he brought something that you did not have? You are a family unit and be careful for both your safety sake. He did you a great favor to move out! I bet if you wait and have confidence in your own abilities you will someday meet a real decent man.

Just don't move in together until the ring is on the finger.
Good luck!

[**opaque]

i think you are being too hard with your husband.....there is nothing wrong in chatting with someone. i'm sure he is doing it with you in his mind and it is just a means of relaxing. come on chill. i you feel jealous then tell him not to do so.