messeduphead
2nd April 2007, 01:00 PM
Hi,
Am new to this but am trying to gain perspective on the following situation and can not talk with family and friends.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 9 months. He is truley wonderful in every way and I fall deeper and deeper in love with him every day. However, yesterday I needed to use his mobile phone and came across a message from a sex chat line "you haven't called in a while"it said...computer generated. I waited until I was alone in his house, he needed to pop out for a while and i went through the recent call list. I found 0900 and 0810 numbers, so I called them and sure enough they were sex chat lines. I was shaking and needed to know more. My boyfriend will be annoyed that he is so organised as I found all of his phone bills dating back 3 years. The bills confirmed that he had in fact used these lines, maybe an average of three times a month. Sneaky, I know!
When he arrived home, I confronted him directly with the evidence I had found and at first he tried to deny it. I flashed the bills in his face and picked out dates and times as proof. He said it meant nothing. I wanted to know what he did on these chat line. Did he talk to real people or as I found out, the option was there just to listen to others...
He said....
Before me, he was in a very non sexual relationship and he used to talk to live people and masterbate and it was a addiction. He claims that he has not spoken to a real person in a while as it made him feel degraded and bad. He said it was just a stupid thing he did and it was over now and he felt bad doing it but it was like a habit. He claims he only listened to recored "stories" recently i.e last month but has been trying to give up since he has been with me.
I know he is a good person and he would never of deliberatley tried to hurt me as much as he has but I am hurt. I feel betrayed and not worthy of trust. I hate the fact he lied about it. I hate the fact that he had the itimacy of sex with total strangers, albiet indirectly. I hate to think that it could be an addiction. I hate to think that there could be other stuff cause this certainley came from left field.
Anyone with advice, please please help me
Am new to this but am trying to gain perspective on the following situation and can not talk with family and friends.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 9 months. He is truley wonderful in every way and I fall deeper and deeper in love with him every day. However, yesterday I needed to use his mobile phone and came across a message from a sex chat line "you haven't called in a while"it said...computer generated. I waited until I was alone in his house, he needed to pop out for a while and i went through the recent call list. I found 0900 and 0810 numbers, so I called them and sure enough they were sex chat lines. I was shaking and needed to know more. My boyfriend will be annoyed that he is so organised as I found all of his phone bills dating back 3 years. The bills confirmed that he had in fact used these lines, maybe an average of three times a month. Sneaky, I know!
When he arrived home, I confronted him directly with the evidence I had found and at first he tried to deny it. I flashed the bills in his face and picked out dates and times as proof. He said it meant nothing. I wanted to know what he did on these chat line. Did he talk to real people or as I found out, the option was there just to listen to others...
He said....
Before me, he was in a very non sexual relationship and he used to talk to live people and masterbate and it was a addiction. He claims that he has not spoken to a real person in a while as it made him feel degraded and bad. He said it was just a stupid thing he did and it was over now and he felt bad doing it but it was like a habit. He claims he only listened to recored "stories" recently i.e last month but has been trying to give up since he has been with me.
I know he is a good person and he would never of deliberatley tried to hurt me as much as he has but I am hurt. I feel betrayed and not worthy of trust. I hate the fact he lied about it. I hate the fact that he had the itimacy of sex with total strangers, albiet indirectly. I hate to think that it could be an addiction. I hate to think that there could be other stuff cause this certainley came from left field.
Anyone with advice, please please help me