Worried

[Nicky]

My husband and I have been together for 29 years and although on the whole we are happy and I do love him, I just dont fancy him anymore. I do, however, keep my husband happy in other ways, but just dont have relations with him as often, perhaps once a month, if that. Do you think we should split? I don't want to split up at all, but do you think i'm being unfair to him by staying with him, knowing that I feel this way? (he doesnt know that I feel like this he just thinks its all hormonal i.e. change of life etc.)

I do feel really guilty and as I said we are otherwise happy. Any advice would be appreciated. :confused:

[jo71]

Nicky...three words...Communication...Counciling...Commitment. You have an obligation as a married couple to try your hardest to work things out. Sometimes I think people feel like they aren't IN love with their mate anymore, when it's actually they just have lost some spark. You can get that back with just a little work. I think you should most definately tell you h what you are feeling, and tell him you want to work on it. Counciling can help. But you have to keep the line of communication open. You made a commitment to this man 29 years ago...you need to honor that commitment. If you work on it for a while, together, with him, and things still don't change as far as how you feel, then it may be most fair to him for you to move on. But please don't just go without trying. Too many people do that these days and the wake they leave behind them is so horrible. More than likely you, too, will have awful regrets if you don't give it a shot.
Good luck,
Jo

[Raymond]

Jo Wrote

Nicky...three words...Communication...Counciling...Commitment.
Jo

That's very mature advice wherein lies one of the secrets to a happy marriage. Lots of people lose the in love feeling, after that we just need to love our spouses no matter what. If you just go by feelings you end up all over the place. I am committed to love my wife no matter what. That's the bottom line. We both honour our vows and work through things. If we had to rely on feelings there would be no security. That doesn't mean that there is not a lot of natural love in the marriage, there is, but it is undergirded by a commitment and honouring of the vows we made to each other before God until death parts us.

The security releases us to really grow close to each other physically and in other ways. I think it will pay to work through this period Nicky and perhaps find ways to fan the flames of your marriage. As Jo said it needs to be worked at, some times more than other times.

Raymond

[Magda]

Hi Nicky
My opinion is;
Buy yourself a vibrator, get drunk, go to the pub and get yourself laid by that smelly old barman.
While in the loo womitting, call the best hooker in the town to go to your hubbe, to wash his pants.
From the pub, go naked on the street, get arrested for offending the public with your filth, and get fined.
Then shut your mouth, you idiot.