Gypsy
29th March 2007, 04:44 AM
My story:
My boyfriend and I have been living together for almost 10 years. We started off as best friends in college, and in time became inseparable. We've never been ones to fight or argue. We never ever go to bed mad at each other, and until now, we've always managed to talk things out.
Lately, he's been obsessed with pointing out our differences, and saying things like "Why are we together, you don't like the things I like". He seems to be referring to obscure things, not looking at the whole picture, because we still share many interests.
Example 1:
Today, he started talking about keeping bugs, so he could photograph their changes. Now wildlife / nature photography is something we have in common. We both love it. However he knows that I have a terrible fear of bugs in general. I even have trouble looking at pictures of them. He has a terrible fear of Spiders, so he knows that the very idea of Having them in the house would make me very upset. When I suggest he keeps them on the balcony he gets upset. And again, He says why do you not like anything I like to do.
Example 2:
Yesterday, despite the fact I have a bad cold, I decided to get up early, and take him on a hike. We were out for a few hours, and he decided he wanted to show me another park he had found. I wasn't up for it, and again he starts with the "Why won't you do anything with me" stuff.
That really got to me. I mean I figured he would have appreciated the fact that I took him out to begin with. and instead he throws that in my face again.
There have been a few of these instances in the past week or two. I'm not sure why it's happening. I'm not sure how to approach him about it.
Anytime the subject comes up, I'm left feeling very defensive, and hurt. I feel like he doesn't appreciate the things we do together anymore. That he doesn't appreciate me anymore, and that he's going out of his way to point out our differences...
Has anyone else gone through this? If so, how did you handle it?
Tnx
My boyfriend and I have been living together for almost 10 years. We started off as best friends in college, and in time became inseparable. We've never been ones to fight or argue. We never ever go to bed mad at each other, and until now, we've always managed to talk things out.
Lately, he's been obsessed with pointing out our differences, and saying things like "Why are we together, you don't like the things I like". He seems to be referring to obscure things, not looking at the whole picture, because we still share many interests.
Example 1:
Today, he started talking about keeping bugs, so he could photograph their changes. Now wildlife / nature photography is something we have in common. We both love it. However he knows that I have a terrible fear of bugs in general. I even have trouble looking at pictures of them. He has a terrible fear of Spiders, so he knows that the very idea of Having them in the house would make me very upset. When I suggest he keeps them on the balcony he gets upset. And again, He says why do you not like anything I like to do.
Example 2:
Yesterday, despite the fact I have a bad cold, I decided to get up early, and take him on a hike. We were out for a few hours, and he decided he wanted to show me another park he had found. I wasn't up for it, and again he starts with the "Why won't you do anything with me" stuff.
That really got to me. I mean I figured he would have appreciated the fact that I took him out to begin with. and instead he throws that in my face again.
There have been a few of these instances in the past week or two. I'm not sure why it's happening. I'm not sure how to approach him about it.
Anytime the subject comes up, I'm left feeling very defensive, and hurt. I feel like he doesn't appreciate the things we do together anymore. That he doesn't appreciate me anymore, and that he's going out of his way to point out our differences...
Has anyone else gone through this? If so, how did you handle it?
Tnx