Jenz
28th March 2007, 08:32 AM
I have read so much of the wonderful supporting advice given by you all, hoping you may be able to help me a little to understand what is going on.
A little background, we have been married 32 years, we are both in our early 50's, 2 grown sons with their own wonderful lives, relationships etc and I am so proud of how we have raised them together.
5 weeks ago today, out of the blue my husband told me he doesn't love me like he use to, and was moving out. He did so the next day. He never told me where he was going to, but it didn't take long for the grapevine where we live for me to find out. He swears there is no other woman involved, it was something that just had to be done. I have believed him, there doesn't seem to be any proof that there is someone else involved. No big arguements, no warning, just all out of the blue.
He said he needed time alone to sort himself out. In a state of shock, disbelief that this was happening, confusion, fog in my mind etc I said to take a couple of weeks if that is what he needs. We haven't spoken in this time, he did text during the two weeks, me doing the usual begging back to him asking can we please talk, (which I now know was wrong) :(
Now the txts (not begging ones anymore) to him don't get answered, no contact at all. He wanted us to go to counselling which I was happy to do, he set it up, he has been to 3 sessions, I am still waiting and have my first visit next week - 6 weeks after. He is phoning our sons, very briefly to see how they are but never mentions our situation, won't answer txts phonecalls from our closest friends except one.
With the help of stumbling across this site, reading the posts from others here and the support you all give, and the support of a couple of dear friends, I am trying hard to put some of the pieces of my life back together, but not knowing the reason why, apart from 'I don't love you like I use to, but I care about you', no communciation of where we are going, separate or together, is really so confusing. I still hurt deeply, cry to myself about what was and now is. I have a very supportive boss and am very grateful for that. There are only 3 of us in his small business and we all cover each other if timeoff is needed, but I also know that it is his livelyhood so try to get myself sorted during working hours which works most of the time. So far it is working.
I am really at a loss to understand what is happening here and where and how do I move on instead of taking small steps forward everyday and hitting the brick wall of what to do now. I have really strong days when I just get on with everything, then I have a real downer moment and the confusion is back.
Any advice or help anyone?
Jenz
A little background, we have been married 32 years, we are both in our early 50's, 2 grown sons with their own wonderful lives, relationships etc and I am so proud of how we have raised them together.
5 weeks ago today, out of the blue my husband told me he doesn't love me like he use to, and was moving out. He did so the next day. He never told me where he was going to, but it didn't take long for the grapevine where we live for me to find out. He swears there is no other woman involved, it was something that just had to be done. I have believed him, there doesn't seem to be any proof that there is someone else involved. No big arguements, no warning, just all out of the blue.
He said he needed time alone to sort himself out. In a state of shock, disbelief that this was happening, confusion, fog in my mind etc I said to take a couple of weeks if that is what he needs. We haven't spoken in this time, he did text during the two weeks, me doing the usual begging back to him asking can we please talk, (which I now know was wrong) :(
Now the txts (not begging ones anymore) to him don't get answered, no contact at all. He wanted us to go to counselling which I was happy to do, he set it up, he has been to 3 sessions, I am still waiting and have my first visit next week - 6 weeks after. He is phoning our sons, very briefly to see how they are but never mentions our situation, won't answer txts phonecalls from our closest friends except one.
With the help of stumbling across this site, reading the posts from others here and the support you all give, and the support of a couple of dear friends, I am trying hard to put some of the pieces of my life back together, but not knowing the reason why, apart from 'I don't love you like I use to, but I care about you', no communciation of where we are going, separate or together, is really so confusing. I still hurt deeply, cry to myself about what was and now is. I have a very supportive boss and am very grateful for that. There are only 3 of us in his small business and we all cover each other if timeoff is needed, but I also know that it is his livelyhood so try to get myself sorted during working hours which works most of the time. So far it is working.
I am really at a loss to understand what is happening here and where and how do I move on instead of taking small steps forward everyday and hitting the brick wall of what to do now. I have really strong days when I just get on with everything, then I have a real downer moment and the confusion is back.
Any advice or help anyone?
Jenz