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D.R.
27th March 2007, 11:00 AM
So, this is one hell of a big step for me coming onto a forum to seek some advice for my marriage.

A brief history.

I met my wife 7 years ago when she was 18 and I was 23. We fell in love pretty much straight away and things were perfect until and old girlfriend of mine came back into town and confused the hell out of me. I did not cheat with the ex, but it caused a lot of strain in our very young relationship.
Eventually we put all of that behind us and got engaged. Then one day I come home to a letter from the Home Office asking me to leave the country as my visa was denied. I'm originally from South Africa. I went back to S.A. to reapply for a marriage visa which was successfull, but one of the requirements was for us to be married within 6 months. This, I think was a little too soon, but seing as though we were engaged already, it did not seem too bad at the time.
We got married, bought a flat and started building our lives together properly. We decided not to have children until we were both ready.

Life carried on until the London way of living started putting a big strain on our relationship so we decided to emigrate to Australia. The visa application was based on my skills as a refrigeration engineer and we were successfull in the application. In the meantime we had been going to Egypt on diving holidays quite often and decided to live there for a while to have some time to wind down and chill out and to get to grips with our relationship once again before moving on to Oz.

Shortly before we moved to Egypt, my wife, Lisa, came to me and told me that she was not happy in our relationship and did not want to continue. I was told that there was nobody else, it was just that she did not feel the same way about me anymore. I managed to convince her to hang on until we moved to Egypt, where we've now been living for almost 6 months now. Then two days ago it all started again.

This is the story I get and it confuses the hell out of me that I dont know what to do anymore:

She says that she still loves me like anything, but she does not know what to do. She says that there is nobody more perfect for her than me. And she also realises that nobody could love her more than I do. She has had me in tears for the last few days because I have no idea what is happening to this relationship. The thing is, I love her more that life itself and I don't know what I would do if she left, especially when she says she still loves me. It's killing me inside to feel this way. half of me says give her all the space and time she needs because hopefully she'll make the right decision and stay with me, but the other half says to end it myself because I cant go through this uncertanty anymore. We have build this relationship up to where it is and everybody who knows us says that we're perfect together and suit each other so much.
I keep asking her to take some time and think about it, but she says that when she sits down to do it , her mind just strays onto other things. She tells me that she hates herself for putting me through all this and hurting me the way she is, but what I can't understand is that if she loves me like she says, the outcome to this is quite obvious!?!

What really killed me was this morning. I gave her my wedding ring and told her that the next time she gives that back to me it will be forever.
She just does not understand what she is doing. She said if I want a decision now, then it's over. But if I am prepared to hang in for a few months until she can find herself, then she is prepared to stay.
I just can't beleive that this relationship we have that is so perfect can be torn apart by nothing at all.

I'm sorry if none of this makes sense, but my mind is a big ball of snot at the moment.
Any comments or advice would be greatly appreciated!

Helen_uk
27th March 2007, 11:16 AM
Wow D.R that is a complicated story .

Your w sounds extremely confused , which in itself is no help to you at all. Are you positive that nothing has happened that has sparked off her feeling this way ?

Going back to your decision to move to Egypt and then to Oz , who's decision was this ? Was it made jointly ? Did she seem genuinely comfortable with moving ? I only ask in case she has been doing these things to make you happy ( not saying that would be your fault ) but is maybe feeling unsettled by all the moving countries and has now reached a place where she wants to please herself . Some people have a problem with " rocking the boat " even if they don't really want to do something, and do it anyway because it's easier to please the person they love than make their own wishes clear. Then after a while it all becomes unbearable and they can't cope.

If you want to stay together then I think you have no choice but to give her time to sort out what she wants ( she isn't giving you the choice anyway as if you don't she says it's over now ). It may seem like " nothing at all " to you, but obviously something is wrong for your w to do this. I think maybe you just haven't been able to get to the bottom of what " it " is yet ?

You were both very young when you got together, but your w more so, people change a great deal from their teens into their 30's , what they want and expect from life changes too and this also may be the cause. Pushing her at the moment is only going to put her under more pressure, so give her a little time, but show her subtley that breaking up isn't what you want.

Good luck.

Helen x

D.R.
27th March 2007, 11:31 AM
Hi Hellen

Thanks for the quick response.

It was Lisa's idea to go to Oz and it was her idea to come to Egypt. And I am more than happy with all of that as I am/was having a very good time.
I know people change as they grow up. But if ones love is so strong surely that should surrpass everything else.
I love her infinitely and she knows it. It is fir this reason that I have told her to take whatever time/space she needs. I'm just afraid that this is the beggining of the end though.

Am I crazy to think that?

Helen_uk
27th March 2007, 05:09 PM
"I know people change as they grow up. But if ones love is so strong surely that should surrpass everything else."

You would think so wouldn't you ? But it doesn't always work that way. People's expectations of life change, the things they hoped for become different, and so their feelings change too.

I don't know your w, but , she may have had no objections , may even have welcomed the living abroad in her 20's , now she's reached her 30's she perhaps wants something different and feels it isn't going to happen with you. You don't mention children, this maybe could be a factor ?

You aren't going to know the answers until she is ready or able to give them to you, and at the moment she may not even know them herself.

As I said, she's asking for a little space to sort out her own head, and although this is scarey for you, because you are unsure of the outcome, you have to let her have it , what other choice is there ?

Take care.

Helen

D.R.
27th March 2007, 05:55 PM
We dont have kids and she is not in her 30's. She is almost 25 and I'm almost 29.
I know that I dont have a choice but to give her the space she needs, but like you say, it is scary and I I'm dreading a negative outcome. In some respects, I'd rather just get it over with. Why prolong the pain. Because from where I'm standing it sure seems like she's heading that way.

But, it is still early days. I am going on safari next week, so she'll have the whole week to herself. I just hope she manages to get to grips with herself. I'm not expecting an answer when I get back, but I do expect her to have thought about it for longer than a nano-second.
I just feel so alone because she has made a couple of friends that listen to her problems, but I dont have anybody. I'm too embaressed to speak to my Mother or sister, (they're the only family I have) and there are no shrinks to speak of here in egypt! I suppose that makes it a little worse, being alone!
What I also cant understand is that when she's around other people, she acts as though nothing is wrong. I dont mean with regards to our relationship, I mean she's happy and bubbly and still the same old person, but if you looked at me you would have thought I just found out i was termanally ill! I dont want to be around anybody and all I want is a cuddle.

It's just sooooo difficult.....

Helen_uk
27th March 2007, 06:21 PM
Ok, so she is not in her 30's ! So that makes it you've only been together 7 years yes ?

If you think about it, an awful lot has happened in those 7 years...

As to children, what's the position there ? Does she want/ not want them ? Do you ? I don't mean tell me, just sometimes the wanting/not wanting starts to figure when you've been married this length of time.

For you it may be as easy as her just taking the time to think it through, but as I said previously she may not even know what to think about. She seems to be purposely avoiding thinking about it at all.

I really feel for you, it's awful living on a knife edge while someone else is thinking about a decision that will bring your world crumbling down if it goes the wrong way. At least if you are away for a while it does give her the space she seems to crave.... Maybe you should consider David's limited contact theory ? Absence supposedly makes the heart grow fonder, it might be worth a try ?

I know how you feel about wanting a cuddle, it's a comfort thing, sometimes you can be more lonely with people than you are when you're alone...


Helen

D.R.
29th March 2007, 07:56 AM
Well

I've spent the last few days as miserable as anything. It is all I can think about and I think about it all the time. Things are a little better with me today, but it still hurts waking up next to her knowing that I cant just roll over and give her a cuddle like I normally do. We managed to have a conversation last night over dinner, (I cooked her fav meal) and at least we're being civil to each other.

She still tells me she loves me more than anything, but she can't promise me anything, which is totally understandable but gut wrenching at the same time. Because where I'm standing it is as if she is trying to find reasons to convince herself to stay.

I just feel so useless at the moment as there is nothing I can do. I want to do so many romantic things for her to try and make her realise what she has and could lose, but at the same time I dont want to take any space or time from her in case I push her further away.

I just love her so much...........

D.R.
27th April 2007, 11:44 AM
Some developements
I found an email where she was declaring her undying love for our neighbor and colleauge! I confronted her about it and she promised that nothing has happend and that it's only feelings. Since then she wanted to end the marriage, then I convinced her to try a seperation, she agreed, then changed her mind. She ended it last night. Says she's thinking of herself and this is what she wants.
What really upsets me is that she has not spoken to anybody about this. A casual mention to some friends, but not a propper girly chat! My wife is very stubborn, and nothing I say can change what she's feeling.
My heart aches and all i want is for all of this to go away and be happy with her again.
Am I being foolish and Naive?

David H
27th April 2007, 12:46 PM
What really upsets me is that she has not spoken to anybody about this. A casual mention to some friends, but not a proper girly chat!

Suggests to me she is very confused, but at the same time afraid of being pressurised... Do you think it is possible that she was pressured as a child?

My wife is very stubborn, and nothing I say can change what she's feeling.

As above... This is resisting pressure -- and your attempts at control...

You are trying to *change* a woman's feelings! Bad move!

Respectfully, you should be trying to *understand* her feelings and trying to understand *why* she is feeling that way -- once you can start doing that -- I am sure she will start responding to you much more positively -- Upward spiral!

So you must avoid making her feel you are pressurising her because you will just push her away... which is what you are seeing happening -- so you press more and she pulls away -- so you press more --- and so on! Downward spiral!

I really do feel you will greatly benefit from a "180" and some NC

http://survivinginfidelity.com/healing_library/divorce/no_contact.asp
http://survivinginfidelity.com/faq_bs.asp#FAQ11
http://www.divorcerecovery101.com/addiction.htm

You may also need to detach emotionally:
This is a good place to start understanding detachment:
http://www.coping.org/control/detach.htm

Establishing Healthy Boundaries in Relationships:
http://www.coping.org/relations/boundar/intro.htm

I also think you may be a bit codependent...

Codependency:
http://www.50connect.co.uk/50c/romancestories.asp?article=12527

My heart aches and all i want is for all of this to go away and be happy with her again. You may eventually have to do "a 180" for your own sanity (to allow
Am I being foolish and Naive?

No. Try if you can to give her space -- this is what she is telling you she wants (and needs..)!

Doing a 180 and NC will help both of you get some perspective...

Can you try to get away for a few days with a friend or two who will give you some space and tranquility?

David