too much space???

[susi]

Hi again,

I am sorry, it feels as if I am bombarding this forum with my problems at the moment but boy is it comforting to read about other people in similar situations and to receive support!
Having decided to give my H a lot of space to do his own thing, which would then also give me space to "find" myself again and be nice to myself, I just don't know whether the whole thing hasn't backfired completely. Apart from him telling his sister we were "living separate lives" at the moment, and I had "agreed to the separation" (see my previous thread), he now doesn't seem to want to come home at all any more!

I had texted him yesterday saying did he fancy a DVD and takeaway tonight (literally just being friendly, no strings attached, thought that was the best thing to do, don't put any pressure on him), in one of his texts today he said he should be "home for the movie". ??What does he think I am? A blooming cinema???

As it is, I am sitting here, watching the telly, with absolutely no clue where he is, what he is up to and when he is coming home. Part of me feels too proud to phone him, and another part says, you are his wife, you have EVERY right to know where he is, and part of me is just so confused and feeling so bereft I just don't know what to do any more.

Susi xx

[Ginger God]

Susi....

You need to stop giving him the bullets...he will just keep firing them back at you.....

Graham

[susi]

So what do you think I should do?

xx

[Helen_uk]

Susi

In my opinion, at the very least he owes you an explanation of what time he'll be home , but I can understand you feeling too proud to phone him, you shouldn't have to . Like it or not he is sharing a house with you and owes you the same amount of common courtesy he would give to anyone. He is still your H and space or not cannot act like a single man.. he isn't one.

If he wants that amount of space ( i.e he doesn't want to be accountable for his movements ) then he should have moved out, space isn't really possible when you are still living together as your emotions are bound to be involved - you still love him after all.

I've read your posts and to be honest the man is acting like a sulky teenager , MLC or not ( wish I had time for one ! ) , I think it's time you started to bargain with him , or just maybe you should start to *have * a MLC of your own and see how he likes being on the receiving end ! While you are still sharing the same house, ground rules need to be in place , he can't just come and go as he pleases.

I would certainly visit the girl next door and have a little chat. Yes it may very well get back to him, but, how much worse can it make things ? You have been ( IMO ) more than accomodating with him, take the bull by the horns Susi, fight back !

Take care.

Helen x