how do I deal with it?

[Kate]

Do you really want your relationship shaken by affairs? Both of you seem to be drawn to them.
Trust and security in marriage thrive best without "third parties". You obviously love each other and want your marriage to continue, but a few things need to change to make that possible. Being understanding and forgiving doesn't mean condoning behaviour that's pushing you apart.
Perhaps it's time to get to the bottom of why you are both getting involved with others instead of enjoying an exclusive fulfilled relationship with each other.
There are a number of useful articles and links on the site which you might like to investigate. There is a whole section on affairs (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/marriageclinic/infidelity/) and one on cyberaffairs (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/marriageclinic/cyberaffair/).

[dragonlady]

My husband is having an affair with a woman he met online. They meet whenever he goes to the city on business which is about once a month. They chat online most nights. He is honest about his affair and says it takes nothing away from me and that he loves me very much and will never leave or not love me and that he would be quite willing for me to have a similar relationship with someone I liked. We both have had online friendships, some have led to cybersex, one other in his case also led to sex. I have always known about this, I love him very much, but I am having a great deal of difficulty dealing with this particular affair as it has been going on for about 4 months and looks to continue for at least another 3. Recently I have become more and more angry and distressed and asked my husband to tell his girlfriend that I thought she was too emotionally attached to him and that while I thought I would be able to survive the sex part of their relationship the emotional strings were too much. He told her this, or something and now she will not speak to him. Now he is distant, he says it is not because of this but I find it difficult to beleive him. My question then is, How do I teach myself to deal with this affair until it ends and then how do I deal with the resentment it has caused in me. I do not want to loose my husband or my marriage but I am at a loss to know how to come to terms with it.

[Cherokee]

You obviously cannot come to terms with these affairs,or you would not feel the resentment.I think you are both kidding yourselves here.You either want each other or you want other people and if you want other people why the hell are you still married?