I hate being like this......

[welshy]

Hi ..my wife likes going out with the girls.. her friends from work..she didnt go out much but since she has had this job 2 years she goes out any chance she has..problem is most of the girls are single..and they go out clubing from about 6pm till 3am ..I have allways been the jealous / possessive type..I hate the thought of her dancing with other men..she a good looking and can dance very sexy ,,and is much younger looking ..for her age and i love her big time..shes out with them now and wont be back till about 3am the bus picks them up at 2am and the city they are out in is 1 hour from us and i am sick with worry every time ..this is the part where you are not going to understand we have been married for 30 years Iam 49 and she is 46 we have 4 boys I dont think she would cheat on me but ??single girls shes out with do as they do comes to mind..I dont look to go out to the pub with the boys I would much more like to go out with my wife ..we do go out from time to time with friends and i love to dance as well with my wife but i think she would prefer to go out with the girls ..how can i overcome this problem..I have told her how i feel but she just says other girls go out some even go on holiday like if this is a threat..help please ...

[welshy]

Hi ..my wife likes going out with the girls.. her friends from work..she didnt go out much but since she has had this job 2 years she goes out any chance she has..problem is most of the girls are single..and they go out clubing from about 6pm till 3am ..I have allways been the jealous / possessive type..I hate the thought of her dancing with other men..she a good looking and can dance very sexy ,,and is much younger looking ..for her age and i love her big time..shes out with them now and wont be back till about 3am the bus picks them up at 2am and the city they are out in is 1 hour from us and i am sick with worry every time ..this is the part where you are not going to understand we have been married for 30 years Iam 49 and she is 46 we have 4 boys I dont think she would cheat on me but ??single girls shes out with do as they do comes to mind..I dont look to go out to the pub with the boys I would much more like to go out with my wife ..we do go out from time to time with friends and i love to dance as well with my wife but i think she would prefer to go out with the girls ..how can i overcome this problem..I have told her how i feel but she just says other girls go out some even go on holiday like if this is a threat..help please ... i know my problem is nothing after reading some others and i wish i could help them..but my head has gone i dont know what to do ..

[jools]

Hi Welshy
I'm a Welshy too! Reading your post I can just see the picture. If you've been married 30 years she was only 16 when you married - and had 4 children since. Sounds like she's making up for lost time and trying to do what she missed out on in her teens and twenties. It must be very exciting hitting the big city with a bus load of girls! I've personally seen the gangs of valleys girls hitting Cardiff on the weekend and they really do have a good time! But I would say they're just out for a laugh. I can well imagine how you're feeling, but there's not a lot you can do about it. If you try to stop her it'll just make her crave the excitement all the more. You say that she always gets the bus back - so it's not as though she's going off with anyone. I think you're just gonna have to grit your teeth and let her get on with it. Mind you, I'd draw the line at holidays -- now that WOULD be out of order! How long's she been doing this? The novelty might wear off.
Jools.
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[marriedbrunette30]

Certainly nothing wrong with how you feel. I feel it is "unhealthy" for a married couple to go out like this seperately all the time. My sister used to try to get me to go out with her and her girfriends when she divorced. I went a few times,but quickly saw how it wasnt good for my relationship. Men DO try to pick you up,and you get drunk,and it really IS just adding un-needed temptation to marriage.
My husband is the same as you,doesnt like to go out much. I decided to ONLY go out though when he is with me. For one,it makes me feel better cuz then if I'm hit on I can just say my husband is over there.But honestly,we hardly ever go out out like that...maybe twice a year.
Someone els every close to me hangs out in a bar a couple times a week with her husband.They are ALWAYS fighting over jealousy issues because of what happens at the bar. Yet,they dont stop going to the bar.
Make your feelings clear to your wife.It may cause a fight,but if she loves you,she'll see where you are coming from. She needs to start acting her age and acting like a wife and mother instead of going off getting drunk and acting like a 20 year old.

[welshy]

Hi Welshy
I'm a Welshy too! Reading your post I can just see the picture. If you've been married 30 years she was only 16 when you married - and had 4 children since. Sounds like she's making up for lost time and trying to do what she missed out on in her teens and twenties. It must be very exciting hitting the big city with a bus load of girls! I've personally seen the gangs of valleys girls hitting Cardiff on the weekend and they really do have a good time! But I would say they're just out for a laugh. I can well imagine how you're feeling, but there's not a lot you can do about it. If you try to stop her it'll just make her crave the excitement all the more. You say that she always gets the bus back - so it's not as though she's going off with anyone. I think you're just gonna have to grit your teeth and let her get on with it. Mind you, I'd draw the line at holidays -- now that WOULD be out of order! How long's she been doing this? The novelty might wear off.
Jools. THANKS Jools its nice to see that some one sees where i am comming from she has been going out the past 2 years not all the time but when its one of the girls birthday .i do trust her but? her birthday is comming up and if she goes out with the girls for that it will be the first time in 30 years that we havnt been together for that ..am i sad or what and even now iam not looking forward to christmas cos they go out on black friday ..

[welshy]

Certainly nothing wrong with how you feel. I feel it is "unhealthy" for a married couple to go out like this seperately all the time. My sister used to try to get me to go out with her and her girfriends when she divorced. I went a few times,but quickly saw how it wasnt good for my relationship. Men DO try to pick you up,and you get drunk,and it really IS just adding un-needed temptation to marriage.
My husband is the same as you,doesnt like to go out much. I decided to ONLY go out though when he is with me. For one,it makes me feel better cuz then if I'm hit on I can just say my husband is over there.But honestly,we hardly ever go out out like that...maybe twice a year.
Someone els every close to me hangs out in a bar a couple times a week with her husband.They are ALWAYS fighting over jealousy issues because of what happens at the bar. Yet,they dont stop going to the bar.
Make your feelings clear to your wife.It may cause a fight,but if she loves you,she'll see where you are coming from. She needs to start acting her age and acting like a wife and mother instead of going off getting drunk and acting like a 20 year old. Thanks I have tryed to make my feelings clear but she only sees her side I wish she had your way of thinking thanks anyway ..