Strange day

[helenrw200]

I've had quite a surreal day today.

My ex father-in-law from my first marriage died last week and it was his funeral today. My son, who is 23 decided he was going to the funeral and I fully supported him in that, although he hasn't seen anyone from that side of the family for almost 16 years, including his father.

I've had no contact with my ex husband since my son was 6 either and little contact with his family. My ex husband was at the funeral and my son , not knowing who he was, went up and introduced himself ! Now bearing in mind that ex husband has no contact with his family since we split up 22 years ago, nobody expected him to be there, least of all me.

How surreal for my son to " meet " his own father that way! Thankfully they seem to have gotten on ok and my son ( being the laid back person he is ) took it all in his stride. It was my ex's decision to have no contact with him and according to son he did seem quite pleased to see him , in fact he dropped son back to the house although didn't come in . The whole thing feels a bit unreal, talk about your past coming back to haunt you !

I wonder now if he will want to stay in contact with son ( a small part of me can't help thinking he will as maintenance payments are obviously now not an issue ! )and if he does I can only hope he's changed, he was a most unreliable and untruthful person back then, lets hope time and age has matured him.

Helen

[MPM]

That is a bit sureal for you I imagine! Your son sounds like he handled the situation in such a splendid way, you must be extremely proud of him. Whether your ex manages to keep in touch this time your son sounds like a confident young man who won't expect the earth and won't take any messing about either!

[helenrw200]

Yes he is, he takes after his mum !

He did handle it well he's a very "together " person and isn't phased by much at all. My second husband adopted him when he was 7 so it's him he knows as dad really. Always refers to his biological dad as Rob . He's never asked much about his dad, he did have contact with his family when he was much younger but not so much in recent years.

I haven't thought about my ex in years so it was interesting to hear my son describe him. He used to be such a ladies man, half Spanish so very much tall dark and handsome, especially in his RAF uniform, son now describes him as " paunchy and saggy ", made me laugh because he was 28 when I last saw him and he is now 45, and I guess I never imagined him ageing ! I suppose it comes to us all.......

Helen