moving

[chrissie]

My husband and i have just rellocated to Australia. In England everything was going reasonably well. We have only been married for 9 months and we sold my flat and moved over here. Since rellocating he has been different. He leaves me on my own a lot of the time and he knows i dont know anyone else. I feel very alone and he does not seem to care. I have told him i will go back to England and he just laughs. what am i going to do.

[Liz]

Your posting brings back memories of my arriving in a snow clad Norway one January. It was over a month before I saw the sun, everyone spoke a foreign language and my man was out at work all day. He had been there for a few months before me and knew a few people, but they were all "his" friends. It was daunting, lonely, and frightening at times, but I made the effort to go out and explore and I began to find this exploration exciting. Eventually I managed to find some work, unpaid at first and to begin to get to know some people for myself.

Do you have a work permit? If not you might be able to find some voluntary work to do to start with. Or perhaps you've got a hobby that you could get out and pursue to meet people. My experience of Australia is that many of them especially the older generation have ties with the UK and are friendly and interested to meet folks from there.

If you have only been married for nine months relocating across the globe is bound to put some huge pressures on you. We moved three months into our marriage and it was a very traumatic time. Your husband will not have all the answers and may well be struggling with issues himself. His attitude must hurt, but there could be a strong element of misunderstanding about it.

Can I suggest you have a look at The Early Years (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/healthclub/healthearly/) area of the site and see if you can find some tips on how to find a way forward communicating with your husband. You might like to think about what your expectations of moving there were and what it is that would help you settle in, then you could tell him specifically where you need help from him.