crystals03
10th January 2007, 03:02 AM
I have been with my husband for 7 years now, only marred 4 1/2 yrs. Our marriage started out shaky because I caught him sleeping with someone 6 days before our wedding. That wedding was put off and 6 months later we got married. Just under a year after the wedding we had a beautiful little girl. My husband did not have the best child life ( regular physical and emotional abuse ). He was kicked out at 15 and has been on his own until we got together. My husband has never really had a family.
My husband has never been physically abusive but has been for most of our relationship emotionally and verbally abusive to me. He says he realizes he has temper issues and he realizes he takes things out on me but he doesn't mean to.
I realize that 5 years has gone by since the whole cheating issue and the past is the past. Over New Years we both went out and the whole night he was hanging all over a girl and she was hanging all over him ( arms around each other, slow dancing, talking close in corners...etc ) After a couple of my friends confronted me as to why I was allowing it and looking back seeing his arm around her again...I blew up and went into the back little room and told her to get her F****** hands off my husband. I then walked away and went back to my table. My husband at that point came back and asked me what my problem was and that I had no right to say that to this female party. He then said I didn't trust him. I advise him I do trust him ( even though I probably shouldn't ) but it was more a matter of dis-respect on her part and his.
I am going to try and shorten this whole thing up...after hours of fighting and friends trying to calm him down, the two of us left. He refused to give me the keys and he left extremely intoxicated. We had a very bad storm that night and the roads were icy and he was not only driving drunk but driving like an idiot. I asked him to let me out and that he was scareing me. He refused to let me out, and laughed at me. Finally he stopped the truck and I got out after another threat or two made by him and he left me on the far side of town alone at 4:30 am.
Next day he was told to leave the residence. I packed his things and at this time he is still semi intoxicated he told me he would rather pay 16 years of child support than spend 16 more years with me. He left.
2 days go by and neither I, our friends or family or our 3 year old has heard from him. Finally 11:30 pm on the 2nd night he calls and asks to come out and see our daughter. I told him to come out. The first thing he does is ask if we can work this out. I alreay have a lawyer called, apts made and some packing done to move back in with my mom and he now after all the mean and hurtfull things said wants to move back in. Our daughter comes around the corner and got one glimps of him and said " see mommy, I told you daddy would come back for us". Can we say guilt!!
He has been back home less than a week now and we already have had 1 counceling session for marriage. He is willing to work it out but now I have my doubts.
This is where I need the help. I love him..but I don't. I don't know if he wants to work it out because he has no where to go and live or because he really wants to be with me. I don't know if I took him back for just my daughters sake or because I dread having to move back in with my mom. I am so confused. Those days he was gone I did nothing but cry and I told myself I wouldn't go back and as soon as he was near me my defenses were mush.
I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to hurt my daughter or even him but how can I do that and be happy?
Crystal
My husband has never been physically abusive but has been for most of our relationship emotionally and verbally abusive to me. He says he realizes he has temper issues and he realizes he takes things out on me but he doesn't mean to.
I realize that 5 years has gone by since the whole cheating issue and the past is the past. Over New Years we both went out and the whole night he was hanging all over a girl and she was hanging all over him ( arms around each other, slow dancing, talking close in corners...etc ) After a couple of my friends confronted me as to why I was allowing it and looking back seeing his arm around her again...I blew up and went into the back little room and told her to get her F****** hands off my husband. I then walked away and went back to my table. My husband at that point came back and asked me what my problem was and that I had no right to say that to this female party. He then said I didn't trust him. I advise him I do trust him ( even though I probably shouldn't ) but it was more a matter of dis-respect on her part and his.
I am going to try and shorten this whole thing up...after hours of fighting and friends trying to calm him down, the two of us left. He refused to give me the keys and he left extremely intoxicated. We had a very bad storm that night and the roads were icy and he was not only driving drunk but driving like an idiot. I asked him to let me out and that he was scareing me. He refused to let me out, and laughed at me. Finally he stopped the truck and I got out after another threat or two made by him and he left me on the far side of town alone at 4:30 am.
Next day he was told to leave the residence. I packed his things and at this time he is still semi intoxicated he told me he would rather pay 16 years of child support than spend 16 more years with me. He left.
2 days go by and neither I, our friends or family or our 3 year old has heard from him. Finally 11:30 pm on the 2nd night he calls and asks to come out and see our daughter. I told him to come out. The first thing he does is ask if we can work this out. I alreay have a lawyer called, apts made and some packing done to move back in with my mom and he now after all the mean and hurtfull things said wants to move back in. Our daughter comes around the corner and got one glimps of him and said " see mommy, I told you daddy would come back for us". Can we say guilt!!
He has been back home less than a week now and we already have had 1 counceling session for marriage. He is willing to work it out but now I have my doubts.
This is where I need the help. I love him..but I don't. I don't know if he wants to work it out because he has no where to go and live or because he really wants to be with me. I don't know if I took him back for just my daughters sake or because I dread having to move back in with my mom. I am so confused. Those days he was gone I did nothing but cry and I told myself I wouldn't go back and as soon as he was near me my defenses were mush.
I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to hurt my daughter or even him but how can I do that and be happy?
Crystal