What to do with girl "friend"?

[mbmandlehr]

My boyfriend has a "friend" who is a girl who's obsessed with him. He says they are only friends now-no sex (before me they did). He wants to continue friendship with her. She continually calls and now has started part-time job where he is..like living w/his mother isn't enough. When she isn't around or disturbing us it seems like we do great. We have a good time together like we did when we wee together before. I love this man like I haven't loved another but I wish this girl would get a life and move on!! Any thoughts??

[Helen]

I agree with you - she should get a life and move on. But it seems she won't so it is up to your boyfriend to get a life instead. First, he cannot remain friends with this girl. So long as they are friends, she will continue to have hopes that they can rekindle their relationship (hence her inability to leave him alone). He needs to let her down gently and tell her, for the sake of his relationship with you, that he can no longer see her in any capacity, including friendship. I would also recommend he changes job. As long as he is there, under her nose, she will keep harassing him for more than he is offering at the moment.

If your boyfriend refuses to do both of these things, I would ask him how committed he is to his relationship with you? Because surely he can see there is a 'Fatal Attraction' situation going on here? This girl will never leave him alone so it is up to him to part himself from her. If he refuses to, you need to ask yourself if his 'only friends now no sex' story holds water in the face of this.

I wish you luck and hope he sees that leaving the job and parting from this girl is the only way forward for both of you.


Helen

[mbmandlehr]

What makes separating from her difficult is that she lives with his mother. If I don't "accept" her, I can't go with him when he visits his mom. I think he feels obliated to her for this. Any suggesions on what to say to help him see how she is hurting our relationship by her presence?

[Karen15]

Why does she stay with his mother? Does she pay rent there? I would ask him to explain the situation with his mum to start with. She may be more understanding of you.
I agree that the relationship, whether friends or not simply can't go on. She'll just find any action from him as encouragement.
Your bf's going to have to have a serious chat with this lady and convince her to move on.

Karen xx

[mbmandlehr]

He thinks w/ her living w/ his mom helps her. He wants to keep her as his 'friend'. He doesn't realize that his 'friendship' w/her hurts our relationship although I've tried to explain it. Any suggestions? I love this man a lot but his friendship w/'her' is pushing me away. I want to make it work w/ him but don't know how much more I can or should take. Please help with ideas!