repeatforgiver
3rd November 2006, 02:48 PM
I admit I have insecurities about myself and I struggle day to day with jealousy. In the past I used to react to those feelings, but now I am learning to control that green monster. Unfortunately it is very hard to keep control when my husband gives me good reasons to get worried. He has hidden internet porn use, and renting porn videos from me in the past, and I became aware of it. I discussed how this makes me feel, and he claimed it wouldn't happen again, he was sorry. I believed him, and it took a while to forgive the lies, and deception. I finally come to terms with this and he is back to his old ways, lieing and hiding things from me. Now he has gone to another place with his lies, he and I commute to work together, and he left me sitting at work waiting for him for 2 1/2 hours after my shift. He had called me about an hour after my shift was over to let me know he was running late, and he would be there soon. An hour later I called him to see where he was and he said oh I am sorry, I was visiting. I was so angry, he didn't have the sense to call me and tell me. He knew I was sitting at work waiting for him, I am just blown away by this behavior. I can't even talk to him right now I am so upset. I am running on neutral, and just acting as though he's a piece of furniture. I just don't know how to once again go through these discussions and then a few months later I find myself back where I started. When is enough, enough? I don't want to give up on my marriage, but I am wondering if my husband already has.