across the Pond
29th September 2006, 07:43 PM
Hi, this is my first post, I'm seeking help in trying to understand my wife, we are separated at the moment.
We don't talk at all, she only calls me when she wants something done or fixed or what ever, I quit e-mailing her because she can never answer a basic question, he response e-mails never have anything to do with the questions at hand, and the e-mails are really degrading and nasty.
she does have some mental problems that she takes medications for, but she seems to always fall of the deep end when she's fatigued or tired, as an example, she has told me that she doesn't want me doing anything for her at the house, then she'll send me an e-mail telling me the marriage isn't going to work out because I never do anything at the house to help her out.
we have 3 dogs, and one of the poops on the floors in the house a lot, I always clean up after the animals when I'm over there, I do go over daily after she has gone to work to wash my clothes, work in the garage or what ever, but she blames me for the animals pooping on the floors, she says they don't do it when I'm not around, there's poop on the floors when I walk in the door in the mornings.
She has a son, and when we got married, I felt he was just as much a part of the family as my own kids, he calls me Daddy and doesn't know any different, the house takes two incomes to operate, her son is in private school, I have a full time job and have left her my entire paycheck to her to run the home and pay for her son's education, I've taken a second job to support myself.
I really don't think she means the terrible things she says to me, but her words are very cutting and degrading, strangers treat me better then she does.
her car broke down, so I left her my car and took her car in to have it fixed, (she asked me to take care of her car problem) then the next day, she was mad at me for having her car. it was broke and getting fixed, I can't win no matter what I do.
maybe I don't understand mental illness or something but would someone please talk to me and educate my mind on this stuff? I really want to help her, and would do anything for her, she is my life, and so is her son, but I'm running out of answers.
the other thing she does is tells me that the marriage is not going to work out, yet, she changes nothing, not even a cell phone she gave me that is in her name, and our wedding pictures are still on the living room wall, so in my mind, her words say she wants to end the marriage, but her actions, with bills and how the home is decorated, seems to indicate that she doesn't.
there are more issues, she hates my kids, and they are not allowed over to the house, she's mean and nasty to them to, she has taken their rooms away from them and the house and turned the rooms into her own hobby rooms, I still feel that there's got to be a way to save this, I forgive her because I feel she doesn't realize what she's doing to everyone around her, she is so self focused that she see's nothing but her rigth now.
I need help.
We don't talk at all, she only calls me when she wants something done or fixed or what ever, I quit e-mailing her because she can never answer a basic question, he response e-mails never have anything to do with the questions at hand, and the e-mails are really degrading and nasty.
she does have some mental problems that she takes medications for, but she seems to always fall of the deep end when she's fatigued or tired, as an example, she has told me that she doesn't want me doing anything for her at the house, then she'll send me an e-mail telling me the marriage isn't going to work out because I never do anything at the house to help her out.
we have 3 dogs, and one of the poops on the floors in the house a lot, I always clean up after the animals when I'm over there, I do go over daily after she has gone to work to wash my clothes, work in the garage or what ever, but she blames me for the animals pooping on the floors, she says they don't do it when I'm not around, there's poop on the floors when I walk in the door in the mornings.
She has a son, and when we got married, I felt he was just as much a part of the family as my own kids, he calls me Daddy and doesn't know any different, the house takes two incomes to operate, her son is in private school, I have a full time job and have left her my entire paycheck to her to run the home and pay for her son's education, I've taken a second job to support myself.
I really don't think she means the terrible things she says to me, but her words are very cutting and degrading, strangers treat me better then she does.
her car broke down, so I left her my car and took her car in to have it fixed, (she asked me to take care of her car problem) then the next day, she was mad at me for having her car. it was broke and getting fixed, I can't win no matter what I do.
maybe I don't understand mental illness or something but would someone please talk to me and educate my mind on this stuff? I really want to help her, and would do anything for her, she is my life, and so is her son, but I'm running out of answers.
the other thing she does is tells me that the marriage is not going to work out, yet, she changes nothing, not even a cell phone she gave me that is in her name, and our wedding pictures are still on the living room wall, so in my mind, her words say she wants to end the marriage, but her actions, with bills and how the home is decorated, seems to indicate that she doesn't.
there are more issues, she hates my kids, and they are not allowed over to the house, she's mean and nasty to them to, she has taken their rooms away from them and the house and turned the rooms into her own hobby rooms, I still feel that there's got to be a way to save this, I forgive her because I feel she doesn't realize what she's doing to everyone around her, she is so self focused that she see's nothing but her rigth now.
I need help.