pension

[1rhamps]

any advice would be welcome. I have been married for 11 years and now the wife has decided she doesnt love me anymore. The problem is i have a police pension to collect when i retire in 11 years and the house has only £80,000 equity at the moment. we have 2 kids so i couldnt or wouldnt force them out howver i could put a charge on the house which would come into effect when she cohabits,kids are 18 or she sells.
I dont want to go through soliciters although i have for advice due to the high costs.
She says its not the best time in my life for this to happen.
any advice would be welcome i have a gut feeling i should just walk without anything to protect my pension.
I have 2 kids aged 10 and 7 if it helps and i moved out 4 months ago thinking she only wanted space so it would not be practical to go back to the marrital home.

[Helen]

1rhamps,

It is not clear what sort of advice you are looking for. Could you say what it is you are looking for advice on?

Incidentally, given that the house has only £80k equity, I would advise you to speak to a solicitor specialising in matrimonial law and, in particular, pension sharing on divorce. From the situation you describe, if you are expecting some of the equity from the house, you will almost certainly have to give up a chunk of your police pension in return. You need proper advice from a specialist.

Also, having now read your other post, given that you have already been separated for 6 months, you would only be able to divorce on the grounds of being separated for 2 years unless you have only recently learned that your wife doesn't want to reconcile. You need to speak to someone with more knowledge than most on this site, although Kimberley may be able to help too.


H

[Kimberley]

Hi

I would suggest that you do see a Solicitor to protect your interests because if your wife goes along and tries to take more than she is entitled to it could be a costly business. Why dont you go to a local Solicitor some do free half hour or fixed fee and see if you can get some impartial advice it will save you thousands in the long term and also could protect your pension.

If you have been separated only 6 months and there are no outside reasons to be divorced i.e. unreasonable behaviour or adultery then you will need to wait another 18 months to obtain your divorce. Depending on the age of the children and the length of the marriage really as to what kind of share of the equity you would be entitled to. Also the Courts take into consideration the housing needs of both parties. I dont know whether your wife works you could end up in the situation of contributing towards the mortgage and trying to rent a property which can be financially crippling.

I used to work in a Matrimonial Department for a while but I am a lawyer in a property department now. If I can be of further assistance please let me know. Also bear in mind child support is 15% of your salary for one child and 20% of your salary for two.

Good luck

Kimberley

[Indi]

Hi Guys,

I had a question connecting to the previous ones.

How do i prove i have been staying away from my wife for 2 years for a divorce ? She might just deny saying she was with me all the time and i will not know how to prove her wrong. I am asking because my wife has decided to make my life hard no matter what and i am doing eveything to protect myself. Do i have to keep someone or police informed that my wife is not around after she left ? i am sure i will need some sort of evidence in the court at a later stage.

Thanks,
Indi

[Kimberley]

It would be very unusual for a Court not to believe you I guess you could prove it by keeping old Bank Statements or utility bills such as Council Tax showing you lived at another address during this time. If she gets a Solicitor any good Solicitor would say it is futile to obstruct a divorce but if she really wanted to be obstructive for whatever reason then you may be waiting for five years without consent for your divorce. The alternative would be to divorce her on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour and any dispute would kind of prove your case as it were.

Regards

Kimberley

[Indi]

Thanks Kimberley!! The problem is i am living in the same house and she has moved out of the place with the Kid. She has gone to live with her sister in London.

That is why i was asking it for the other way around. Could i keep the police informed that she has never returned from the point she left and keep them updated. In that case later on during the divorce proceedings it could be a proof of her not living with me at all for all that period.

Is there any other way to handle this? I know its a tough one but any help would be a solace to my already suffering lonely heart.

Thanks,
Indi

[Kimberley]

Mmm bit tricky that one. I think you are being held to randsom by this woman and should get a solicitor to sort it out. Then it will make her do the same and they advise their clients it is futile to be this petty and get on with it! There is no point being married to this woman and you need to start moving on with your own life and stop letting her make you miserable. I have one like it 2 not nice!

[Ginger God]

She is entitled to half your pension mate.
You will have to obtain a CETV, cash equivalent transfer value from your pension provider. If it is worth say £100K then she gets £50K or all of the equity in the house plus you would have to give her £10K. Just depends how you agree to split the joint assets.
My wife had an affair and decided she would screw me for my pension....thats justice eh!