tmo0hul
21st September 2006, 01:15 AM
I stumbled across this message board, and as I feel as though I have no where else to turn to so I will seek your help. My husband and I have been married for 4 years. Things were rocky financially up until about 9 months ago. Since then things have really turned around - we bought our first house, he got a great job - I thought everything was going great. Last week we set up the internet at the house. The next day I discovered that he had paid to post an ad online in one of those sex wanted sites. I confronted him about it and he apologized - said he was just "messing around" and got pulled in. Thing is - I found his post. It was to the effect that he was looking for a local sex partner, no commitment, no head games.
I let it slide after the apology until the weekend when we had time to really sit down and talk. When I confronted him again he said that he felt as though I was not attracted to him, as out sex life had been lacking. True I admitted, but I was not enjoing it either. After about 4 hours of talking we talked it out and decided to try to spice up things in the bedroom. We had 4 really great days together. He really opened up, talked about sex (he had always been quite shy about it). I thought we had worked it through. He told me over and over that he was sorry to have caused me so much pain, that he loved me, etc. I believed him.
Today I found another note to a woman in a different (free) sex site. Saying that he was new at this but was looking to have some fun - again no head games no commitment.
I am just sick. I feel like an idiot. I really don't think that he has physically cheated on me, but I feel utterly betrayed and humiliated. Anyone have any insight into the make psychi or advice? I will probably call a counselor tomorrow, but for tonight I am beside myself with sadness.
I let it slide after the apology until the weekend when we had time to really sit down and talk. When I confronted him again he said that he felt as though I was not attracted to him, as out sex life had been lacking. True I admitted, but I was not enjoing it either. After about 4 hours of talking we talked it out and decided to try to spice up things in the bedroom. We had 4 really great days together. He really opened up, talked about sex (he had always been quite shy about it). I thought we had worked it through. He told me over and over that he was sorry to have caused me so much pain, that he loved me, etc. I believed him.
Today I found another note to a woman in a different (free) sex site. Saying that he was new at this but was looking to have some fun - again no head games no commitment.
I am just sick. I feel like an idiot. I really don't think that he has physically cheated on me, but I feel utterly betrayed and humiliated. Anyone have any insight into the make psychi or advice? I will probably call a counselor tomorrow, but for tonight I am beside myself with sadness.