money and young marriage

[justthinkin]

Hello everyone. I'm not really sure how to start this thing so I guess I will just jump in. I am a christian of 18 years old who has been dating my boyfriend for four years today. We are not having sex until marriage because of the faith we share and our belief that that is the way God intends it. Anyway we have been praying for some time now and I am sure that we will get married. We were planning on waiting until 2009, the year I graduate from college, but it is becoming increasingly harder! We both know that we would already be married by now if it weren't for the money problems that we know we will have. The problem is...that we have none. Neither of us comes from a wealthy family and neither of us wants to be falling back on our parents every couple of weeks. I just don't know what to do because it is really seems crazy to me to know so surly that we will be together, and not be able to be together. Anyone have any ideas for me? Cause I'm out.

[Dave]

Hi Justthinkin

Firstly well done for sticking to your principles and holding yourself back for when you are married. It takes courage to live out your faith in that way, so well done.

You don't say anything about your fiance's job, or whether he is still a student so it's hard to give much advice. However, assuming you are both still studying it seems to me that you have two choices:

either wait till you both finish college and can each get a job and start earning;
or to see if your families will support you getting married now, and if either can offer a place to live. After all they are presumably financing you at present, and if you can pool the resources could you make it on that?
Having said that, I do think you may be wisest to wait - even though it's tough. You will both change and mature a lot over the next few years at college, and it may be earier to deal with as fiance's rather than in a marriage.

Dave

[Shasta]

Everything Dave said was very true . . . That being said I got married at 18 (. . . .taking a moment to say that that is not repeat NOT saying that is necessarily a good decision. . . . Ok) You will find me crying for marriage help on these pages as much as the next person. But I'm glad I had him to lean on through college and while we have both grown a lot . . .that is the point in the last 3 years we have BOTH grown a lot (sometimes closer together sometimes apart) But I’m going on 21 and he going on thirty----He's changed as much as I have so if you both wait until you've settled into yourselves . . .it's just not gonna happen. Now getting married and having to live with your families that’s a whole nother ballgame I'm not even gonna touch that..... Gives me chills just thinking about it ;)