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The Riddler
17th May 2006, 09:19 AM
JmXJlw Thank you for your post.Thanks Again. Want more.

Kimberley
17th May 2006, 10:24 AM
Hi Riddler

Sounds like a case of being flattered and a seven year itch? All I can say that however much it feels like fun now the outcome further down the line isnt worth the pain you would cause your wife. Take it from someone that knows. If things are routine at home then some one out of the situation and seem fun and appealing without the strings. I would keep it as being flattered and leave at that.

Kimberley

helenrw200
17th May 2006, 04:22 PM
I agree totally with Kimberley. Sexual attraction to someone other than your wife is normal, and you have no control over your dreams, but you do... or should.. have self control and the ability to say no. The pain an affair causes is never worth the brief excitement it generates, read some of the posts on here, from BOTH sides those who have cheated and those who have been cheated on, you won't find a happy one, do you really want to cause your w so much pain ?

If you feel the need for excitement then change things at home, make your sex life interesting for both of you.

And I would have to say that yes men and women can be just friends, but NOT when they feel this physical attraction, that would be playing with fire.

Helen

AlwaysGreen
17th May 2006, 04:49 PM
When you see this woman at work, tell yourself this " With this womans help I could wreck my marriage" Say hi, then go about your day.
As the others here say, no doubt this is just a case of "7 Year Itch",but I think that is really just a name for our excuse of wrong/bored behaviour. It isn't a medical term, it is a name to cover a spectrum of behaviour patterns and moods.
Don't know how old you are, but you are getting older, and attention from someone younger is often flattering. It is nice to be given "Feel good Factor", but that is all it should be. From here on in, anything with regards to this matter is a Q of choice. You can choose to be flattered and leave it be, or you can choose to "Dream", take steps towards this woman and cause (with deliberation) damage.
Albeit I agree with Helen on most scores, I will say that Although we do not have control over our dreams, what you are suggesting about having sexual dreams about your Co-Worker are not dreams but daydreams/night thoughts. We seldom have dreams about people we know or immediate events, that make any sense and have true clarity. A true dream is, although connected to things in our day/week/thoughts... random and unsolicited.
I dream. I dream amazing dreams. I remember many of them even years later. Strong and vibrant dreams. None of them make real sense though. And none of them have been sexual about anyone I know. When I do dream about the important people in my life, it again is either bizarre or infact the last drowsy thoughts I have before I actually am in sleep mode. And those thought then are choice.
When you go to bed, choose not to think of her.
When you go to work, choose not to think of her.
Yes, look for more excitement in your life, always an advisable move for anybody, but you have succeeded in a good 7 year long marriage and you have every strength and capabilty (And reason) to maintain that and improve on it.
Enjoy the rest of your marriage.

brandy24
18th May 2006, 03:20 PM
Hi Riddler,
Take is from me these things never turn out for the best. It is common for a man to have a sexual attraction to another woman other than his wife. The true test is - How that man reacacts to this situation. I would leave well enough alone. A 7 year marriage is something to be marveled at. Even thought the sex may have become routine, your wife may have changed over the years, but the love is still there. The key word her is love. You are experiencing a high level of lust. Please leave it alone for your own good. Once you cross that line, there is no turning back.

Me Too
18th May 2006, 08:36 PM
Riddler,

Take it from a man who knows only too well how this sort of situation will turn out. Be flattered and no more. You feel dazed and confused at the moment, but believe me, the way you feel now will seem like an exotic holiday compared to the feelings that are potentially waiting for you around the corner.

I have experienced the most dark and desperate feelings I have ever felt in my life - and as a direct result of the situation you are describing that developed into something more than friendship.

Like I say, be flattered and no more. Smile sweetly and walk on, with a song in your heart and a spring in your step. Otherwise you face the prospect of heading to a place I wouldn't dream of sending my worst enemy. I promise you.

The Riddler
19th May 2006, 03:44 PM
Hi and many thanks to you all.

I have pulled myself away and ploughed my energy into work things so that I am too busy to think of this girl. There are only 3 years between us, but what I have with my wife is oh so valuable. Things are working out and I have been clear of this girl for a couple of days nearly.

I can't say I agree with the dreams aspect. I have tried to find explanations to the way I dream and there seem to be very few answers. I am extremely lucky in that I can take control of my dreams and manipulate them at the time. I am not sure if this is because I am not in a deep enough sleep or that my mind will not rest, but I can actually change colours of scenery in a dream, change people, things and even end a dream or carry on a dream almost on command.

Apparently some people can do this, and no-one is quite sure how it works, but it is really great for me. It does mean that I can make choices about dreaming about people and as such I think I let the dream continue the other night to see what it was like.

Anyway, will see how things go and concentrate on my work.

Thanks for all the advice, will keep you posted.

Regards.