I guess its over!

[zed_199]

Well, in my past my thread I wrote about how I threw my wife out over an argument we had... over a cigarette... funny thing is she would often share a smoke with me... but I broke the rule and had a smoke in the house. She BLEW UP at me, so I sent her packin. (mother in-law got involed too)

After posting my issue on this board, I was advised that there is probably a bigger issue at hand... perhaps someone else is involved in the whole picture.

As it turns out, she's going on a trip to meet this guy this May.

I asked her to get counceling with me, etc... Like the ol saying goes, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink it."

She turned me down cold... so I've been to a councelor on my own and have done a lot of self analyzing... Realizing that throwing her out was the wrong thing to do, but were my motives justified?

I don't don't know if my motives were justified... however in the course of my soul searching I remembered one argument we had about 6 months ago... She had thrown away our wedding rings... She was so upset, and honestly I don't remember what the argument was about... I think was because I was late picking her up from work and she was so mad, but with my job I'm required to stay a little extra late. (Customer Service) Same with her, I've spent time waiting outside for her to get off work... with out complaint, because its her job.

But that night I went back to look for the rings, and well. They were gone.
She never even tried, she bought new ones eventually, but it wasn't the same... At the time I didn't have a good job, I saved up for it for over a year.

It just didn't bother her? Not like it bothered me... we talked about, and got over it eventually...

I realized that I threw her out because it did all add up, I had enough of all the drama... Its not that we didn't go on dates, I use to have candle lit dinners for her from time to time when she got home from work, Or Rose petals every where for a romantic friday night. Flowers once a month... I didn't this that often, just twice a month or so.

In the end I don't think it justified what I did... I think it just show's we both made mistakes, and we just had different values.

I believe our marriage is over, and it hurts, because we were only married a year.

its not that I didn't try to take time outs from our arguments, I use to lock my self in my room for a Cool off... time out. not good enough, she would KICK & KICK the door until I came out.... So I did, she'd yell at me and tell me things like:

"I'm your wife, didn't you stop to think about my feelings?"
"Your married now, you should do your part."

After she was done crying, we still had no solutions, and I was miserable. I felt guilty, but I also felt beaten up. What really got me was that she had no problems falling asleep after an argument like that. Even the next day, still no solutions to the problem at hand.

So I consulted My mother in-law. She advised me to take a drive some where next she gets angry... (probably the wrong thing to do is ask Mother inlaw)

The next time I did... just to get home to my wife who is so angry that I left for an hour or so. She then accused me of cheating on her. (I can barely handle one woman, I don't think I could handle two) However I did tell her where I was, (usualy at my buddies place or just down the road at our local coffee shop. Where I'd read the news paper or just sit and think about everything, she'd often find me there)

So I began to lock myself in my room again.... Nothing changed.

So now I'm at a cross road? Where do I go from here? I've already spoken to my lawyer and will probably start the divorce process this month?

I've asked myself If I want her back? Honestly I'm not sure... We have had some GREAT TIMES together, but I think she's still gonna get on the plane next month.

I keep my self busy, but its still pretty tough to try and move on...
She has told me she wants to move on, and I'll have to respect her decision.

So I guess its over?
**Not sure I want it to be, but I promised myself if she gets on that plane next month... It will be over. *** I may only be human and I make mistakes from time to time... I think this is it? If I want it to be or not?

Any opinions???
Thnx
ZED

[Helen]

Well Zed,

(I am an insomniac, by the way!). Surely she knows that meeting this guy is a no no? Why is she meeting him? Why is she looking for any guys? I was curious about a part of your post. What did she mean by 'your part' when she made reference to the fact that you were married?

For a woman to be kicking a door...she doesn't sound terribly mature. This is also backed up by her failure to understand about the demands of your job. Did she expect you to walk out to meet her on time? Does she understand that doing so would have probably resulted in you losing your job?

She talks about you doing your bit but I can't help wondering - what is she doing? Have you had that conversation? Because from where I am sitting, the woman is bloody selfish.


Helen

[zed_199]

It was usualy over DISHES... I was a bit lazy and didn't do the dishes all that often... however I always kept our washrooms neat and tidy... she'd never touch them... Or the oil leak in the car... I looked after that kinda stuff.... and that was the stuff we'd argue over.

Kicking her out was wrong, but at the same time I think I'm at the point where I'm asking myself is she really worth it. I've tried to talk to her about our different roles, but she wouldn't hear it.

Yes, I had to be on time no MATTER WHAT! Otherwise I got the 1st degree about how I was probably with someone else... I was never more than an hour late... maybe 45 minutes... but thats it.

So I'm just a bit confused... I know I had made some mistakes, but she has made some too, and every time she did... we'd work it out... but when I made a mistake, there was no such thing as working it out... It was her way or the highway.

[Helen]

Zed,

Like I said, the woman sounds selfish. And immature. It also sounds as though she will never compromise. Perhaps you were hasty in sending her off to her mother's but it sounds to me like you needed the space. She sounds like a harpy (no offence meant!).

In terms of whether it is over I would say if she meets this guy it is. You should not make any room in your life for a woman who is meeting other guys. YOU are worth more than that. I would also tell her she is selfish. You compromise all the time yet she gives you grief for making silly mistakes (such as with the oil). As for the dishes, I am speechless. She is meeting other guys because you don't do the dishes? Puhlease!

One day she will realise that the perfect guy doesn't exist. Even if he does I suspect he would bore her because it sounds like she loves arguing. By the time she realises this it will be too late because you will have moved on and found someone new. Unless she is prepared to listen and compromise (and stop behaving like a stupid teen with other men) then it's over.


Helen

[zed_199]

I think I know what my problem is... I don't like change! Yet I can't let her beat me up anymore... I have tried and Tried! At the same time I feel guilty for some of the issue's we've had.... i will admit I wasn't always the perfect gentleman, I am guilty of opening my big mouth at times about issues we've had in the past over different arguements.

We did have some physical arguments too... I did slap her one time, and I swear I never felt so bad in my life... but she picked up a cactus to throw at me... So I slapped her, she dropped the cactus... I then pulled the needles from her hand, and bandaged her up... gave her a hug... and she went straight to the bed room and locked her self in... Next day she was at her mother's place telling everyone what kind of monster I was....

As I write this... I'm beginning to think she is not worth the time and effort... but why am I feeling so guilty?

[Helen]

Zed,

Only you know if the good times outweigh the bad. I suspect it wasn't all bad, especially in the beginning, which is why you probably feel bad. But now... plus you chucked her out but it sounds as though she left you little choice. She sounds spoilt. I would bet mama washes all the dishes at home (and does everything else too). She wants you to take turns to wash dishes? Like she takes turns to fix the car I bet!

I would say wait and see if she goes on the trip. If she does (despite knowing your feelings), you are justified in jettisoning her. If she goes, do not feel bad about drawing an end to this union. No decent married woman would go on a trip to meet other men. Give her a chance in that respect and if she chooses to go, you have your answer. She isn't worth any time or effort and you should drop her and move on.


Helen

[zed_199]

Thanks Helen for being my listening ear....
The good times in many respects did out weight the bad... but there have been some doozies in our past.

You are right about one thing... Mama is doing all the dishes! Laundry too.

My wife always wanted a clean house, and sure... I had no quams with that... I'm a fairly tidy guy. After the marriage I got a bit lazy, but there we still things I did that she didn't like change the oil or fix the leak... heck, I even did some of the grocery Shopping.

She knows if she gets on the plane, its over... I will not tolerate that. There may be somethings I can over look, but not that! Going to party with her old friends, and meet another guy??? I thought we were grown up? I suppose not.... and yes... I will say this, since we've been apart (2 months 10 days) I have had a ton of Single Women ask me out for coffee...

Thats why I feel guilty!! I find myself thinking about going out on a coffee date. I feel as if I'm sinking below her because I'm almosted temped to do the same thing!

I guess the best thing I can do is wait, to see if she gets on the plane, and if she does... I probably will take up one of those ladies on a coffee date.

Ya, now that I think about it, thats why I feel so guilty. Its not because of change, its because I've been asked out so many times now and I've turned them all down. I know it was the right thing to do, but I find myself considering the possibility.

[Helen]

Zed,

Do not feel guilty for thinking about it. We are not yet at a time where the thought police will arrest you for thinking this way! At least you know if she doesn't want you, other women will. But do not do anything about this until you are certain where your marriage is headed. I also would not rush into anything new. It is important to learn some lessons from this marriage. It seems to me that she may not have been right for you all along but for some reason, you could not see it. I suspect she is very pretty. Maybe this blinded you to her faults. Now you are discovering the faults and you do not like them. But looks aren't everything and they rarely last! It is far more important to find a woman you can live with and talk to. That kind of woman you will more than likely love forever. Chances are she will look attractive (or well groomed - making the best of herself - rather than gorgeous) but she will be loyal, faithful and help around the house. Women who are beautiful and who you feel lust for are almost always selfish and spoilt. That is the lesson most of us learn as we get older.

How old are you both, by the way?


Helen

[zed_199]

Helen thanks... I'm 27...

As for beautiful... I thought she was... but when we first met she had a terrible acne problem... it wasn't all that bad bad. Like puss ooozing pimples... but bad enough no one ever noticed her...

We were friends for quite a while when I noticed we really got along... We could talk about anything... we loved the same kind of music, movies... FOOD! (Honestly I never gave it much thought when we first met to date her)

So I asked her out... but during the course of our relationship I noticed she was quite depressed. She often asked why I was even dating her... I told her it was because she had big heart... she helped people out, and we had a lot in common. (5 years ago)

So I found a specialist for her, and now the pimples are gone and I will admit... She is a very pretty woman... but it was never an issue for me. She did have a heart of gold at one time. She was the kind of person I could really talk to... and vice versa.

I'm so confused as to what just happened... honestly I don't remember when she started to be like this... I know it was before our marriage she started to become a bit more moody and always wanting more... (Sorta thought it might be the pre marriage gitters or something) I did head attention to it, I offered counceling at that time too... she declined... we tried to work it out for the most part... then we got married, things were going great at that time.... GOOD jobs...etc.

THEN IT WAS ALL DOWN HILL FROM THERE! We never lived together before marriage (Family Wishes) So I knew there were gonna be bumps in the road, but not like this.

I honestly thought I was marrying the woman I could talk to!

[hoxton]

Zed,
I also think you should just wait and see if she get's on the plane if she does then you will know it is over,
I must say I cant beleive she threw your original wedding rings away ( wow ) not on an every day row, It does not sound to me like she was ever really commited she did not want a H she wanted someone to bully,
And if she does not get on the plane she needs to go and get anger management.........

Helen is right don't jump to quickly into dating you may just end up in a bigger mess, But it is a confidence boost to realize that other women are interested,

Not all beautifull women are spoilt brats or bitchs though, I know lot's that are but I am not,
maybe that's why I am hurt so much by what my H has done to me.
It really knocked my self esteem that he could ever want anyone else olther than me, I know that sound vain and maybe people think serve her right, But I mean he is 50 this year even though everyone says he is only about 37 38 but he is not particualy attractive (has the gift of gab though) How could he risk losing me ouch ! Just goes to show hey.

And on top of everyone always telling me how beautifull I am and how they would kill to have hair and a figure like mine,
I think I have been a good wife,

I think he thinks if I managed to pull her then I can do it again I am 32 now he says I will wait till your 40 and trade you in for two 20s.

Anyway Like Helen says dont rush into anything and don't feel guilty,
Your wife sounds like a nut nut,

Good luck.

Amanda

[Helen]

Not all beautifull women are spoilt brats or bitchs though, I know lot's that are but I am notSorry if I offended you Amanda. I am not a bitch or spoilt either but I mentioned this because Zed's wife sounds very young and so many of the younger generation are spoilt these days (hence mama doing everything and Zed's wife expecting him to share the housework even though he takes care of the car, grocery shopping, etc...)

My own mother never allowed anyone to say I was pretty when I was growing up (she used to shush them or glare at them if they tried). Both my parents were very strict with me too. I wasn't allowed to go out until I was 18 and I had to do housework and cooking on a regular basis. In fact, I didn't know I was pretty (well, beautiful) until I got to 18 and people started asking to take pictures of me! That was what led to the modelling but, like you, I never thought too much about how I looked and I got out of it as soon as I could.

Your husband sounds like a prince. Not. He says he's going to trade you in for 2 twenties when you are 40? He does realise when you are 40 he will be close to 60, doesn't he? Which 20-year old will want him then?

Helen

[hoxton]

Helen Ha Ha Ha,

You are right I never knew I was good looking my mum never dressed me up or made a big deal,
And you are right I was one of five and We had to do chores take the dog down wash up put the clothes away look after our baby twin brothers, I think it does keep you grounded and helps you I left home at sixteen and have always stood on my own two feet my boys also have to do their chores They dont like it but no kid does They will thank me later in life,

And you are so right, My friends tell me to just leave I could have who I want but they just dont get it I only want my H and as long as he loves and finds me attractive I dont care about meeting anyone else, when I got married it was for life, Even though I am not religious I beleive you should give as much as you can and only leave when you know it is not poss to give anymore, and you know it is over.

And as far as two 20s I have told him he will never get anyone as good as me, and he is an old boy he wants to remember that !

Amanda

[AlwaysGreen]

Wow, Hello All.
I am quite surprised to find myself sitting here having just read posts about vanity.Don't get me wrong, I think it is important to have self worth and to love oneself, but the level of prettiness surely is not what counts. I know for sure that my Husband is not lucky because I am "Pretty" Which I don't think I particulary am. (I am just me) He is lucky because I love him. If I got burnt in a fire or suffered from facial disfigurement, would HE be less lucky ? Are the people in this world born with handicap or cleft palattes less likely to find love. I certainly hope not.
I am sure you are a lovely looking woman Hoxton, but to be beautiful comes from the person within, do you not agree. Surely your husband is handsome in your eyes, irrelevant to age.
Zed saw the beauty in his wife through her actions and words. That is what drew him to her. Her looks meant nothing. Is that not how it should be. I think in Zeds case, once her acne was under control and her face cleared, a bit of vanity crept in. This changed her. What a shame.
Please remember it is who you are inside that counts for the most part.

[Helen]

Wow, Hello All.
I am quite surprised to find myself sitting here having just read posts about vanity.Don't get me wrong, I think it is important to have self worth and to love oneself, but the level of prettiness surely is not what counts. I know for sure that my Husband is not lucky because I am "Pretty" Which I don't think I particulary am. (I am just me) He is lucky because I love him. If I got burnt in a fire or suffered from facial disfigurement, would HE be less lucky ? Are the people in this world born with handicap or cleft palattes less likely to find love. I certainly hope not.
I am sure you are a lovely looking woman Hoxton, but to be beautiful comes from the person within, do you not agree. Surely your husband is handsome in your eyes, irrelevant to age.
Zed saw the beauty in his wife through her actions and words. That is what drew him to her. Her looks meant nothing. Is that not how it should be. I think in Zeds case, once her acne was under control and her face cleared, a bit of vanity crept in. This changed her. What a shame.
Please remember it is who you are inside that counts for the most part.AlwaysGreen,

I agree and that is the point we are both making. Being good looking is nice but looks fade. What matters is the sort of person an individual is and the way they live their lives. The point to the posting is that some people become spoilt because they are pretty. Others are pretty but it has less influence on their lives - I think because their upbringing is a factor.

Zed's wife is clearly spoilt and is looking for goodness knows what with other men. The pity is, I doubt she will find it. Hoxton is happy with her husband, despite her friends telling her she is crazy for settling for him. They too see the way she looks as a ticket to a better man but Hoxton is happy with the man she has and would not dream of trading him in. In addition, she never allowed her looks to stop her standing on her own two feet or pulling her weight at home. Neither did I but it sounds as though Zed's wife has.


H

[AlwaysGreen]

Helen,
I apologise if I misunderstood.
The point to the posting is that some people become spoilt because they are pretty. Others are pretty but it has less influence on their lives
I agree with you. The sad thing is many people, men and women alike, think that being good looking is all that matters.
When I read Hoxtons posts I didn't quite see the point in relation to what Zed has posted. I understand now though that she was only trying to make a point.

[Helen]

Helen,
I apologise if I misunderstood.
The point to the posting is that some people become spoilt because they are pretty. Others are pretty but it has less influence on their lives
I agree with you. The sad thing is many people, men and women alike, think that being good looking is all that matters.
When I read Hoxtons posts I didn't quite see the point in relation to what Zed has posted. I understand now though that she was only trying to make a point.AlwaysGreen,

No apology necessary. I guess we weren't terribly clear. I asked Zed if his wife was pretty because I suspected she was young, pretty and spoilt. Zed says when he met his wife, she had skin problems and, as a consequence, was ignored - or went through life unnoticed up until the point that they met. But Zed was taken with her and when they got together, he found someone who sorted her skin out for her and he says underneath the bad skin, she was beautiful - to him. My guess is she is very attractive. Anyway, instead of being grateful for his love and support and continuing to be the person he thought she was, suddenly she is griping about him not washing dishes/ smoking the odd cigarette (even though she has done it too) and craving all the attention she didn't get from other men. Hence wanting to go off and meet this other guy and generally behaving like a brat.

It is unfortunate, but a lot of this is due to society and the way some people prize looks over substance, even in their parenting. I am guessing Zed's wife was a pretty child too, hence the spoiling by mama that still goes on today. I am grateful my mother never acknowledged the way I looked when I was growing up (although she did when I had grown up!) and made me do chores. It gave me the kind of grounding that has enabled me to leave home without make up, let my hair go grey and not give a damn about it. I don't even think about how people look. What matters to me is what they have to say for themselves and how they live their lives.

It is a shame that Zed is in this situation but my guess is his wife is attention seeking. I am not sure if she knows this or, even if he told her this, whether she would care. She sounds all round like a very selfish individual who will have a lot of regrets when she gets older.


Helen

[hoxton]

Helen thanks you pretty much summed up what I would of said in responce to the vanity,

Always Green,
What my point was is that if you are raised properly and are a good person
inside then looks should not matter,
The reference was that I mistakingly thought that Helen meant overall pretty women often made bad wifes that is what I was commenting on. Which was promptly cleared up

And as Helen says My friends would all say move on but I love my H and he is attractive in my eyes and like I also said as long as he finds me attractive that's all I care about, I have no intrest in anyone else,
I want to be loved for who I am not what I look like.
I like to think I am a good and loving wife and mother,

Helen once again you obviously put things across a lot better than me Thanks.

Amanda

[zed_199]

Thanks to everyone... I suppose what gets me so fustrated is that I honestly believed I married my best friend, my conifidant... The woman I could talk to... I never married her for her looks... But its easter right now... usually we are getting ready to visit family. Cooking up storm in the Kitchen... (i'm feeling that lonely pinch)

I really loved her Family Very much... they were always good to me. (Excepter My Father in-law, never did like me much?) They are a drinking family, and I'm not a boozer. I suppose thats why I don't get along with my Father In-Law... but my Brother & Sister - in-laws.... we got along Fantasticly... and Vise Versa, my family loved my wife...

My mother in-law too was very good to me, until now she's been fighting my wife's fights for her... or at least trying... I always told my mother in-law that I respect her but I don't have any quarrel with her, just my wife.... If she pushed the matter I'd hang up on her or something. I realize that my wife is a product ofher mother. she wasn't happy until she got her way...

So now I feel so alienated with my in-laws, and frankly I know I there is not a damn thing I can do about this. I can't even talk to them now... just fustrating! I hope you know what I mean?

I realize that my union with my wife is more than likely over, but if she does get on the plane, it will be over.

I do thank my luck stars.
I was a child of cheating parents... and I'm so happy that My wife and I never had children... I remember what it did to me as a child, and there is no way I'd ever put a child of mine through something like this....

So I suppose in some ways it could be a whole lot worse.... But I have let my wife know that if she gets on the plane... I will end the union... my job will also give me a work transfer to another city. So its something I'm considering if she gets on the plane.


As for now all I can do is wait.

[AlwaysGreen]

Hoxton. My apologies to you too.
I have to admit, after all your level headed replies throughout the threads, I was a bit taken aback by your post here about prettiness and what came across as vanity. I do subsequently appreciate that it was both misinterpretted by myself, and not put across brilliantly by you. I guess we have these little flaws every now and again. LOL. I do now though understand what you were saying.
Have a nice Easter

[hoxton]

Always Green,

No proberlem,
You are right I dont always come across the way I would like to that is why quite often you will see me say I agree with others Helen is great at putting things in the right way I am still learning, Ha ha,

Amanda x

[Helen]

As for now all I can do is wait.Zed,

I agree. I think she was your best friend - until she realised that actually, she was pretty damn hot! And then she wanted other things, like a man to wait on her hand and foot and obey her every order, a man who would give her 'stuff' and (men?) who would give her lots of attention. Unfortunately it seems clear that she has decided that you cannot give her these things therefore she is looking elsewhere. Hence corresponding with this other guy and now wanting to fly off to meet him.

I guess she thinks she is going to find Prince Charming and ultimate happiness at the end of the 'rainbow'. What she will find is this guy will more than likely not be who she thinks he is because precious few men are. And when she comes running home to you, you will not be there... I don't feel sorry for her. If she gets on the plane it is clear that she is putting someone she doesn't even know before the man who has stuck by her side faithfully for years. She isn't worth your love and attention if she does that, definitely not.

I suspect her dad hates you because you married his baby girl. No man is good enough for his daughter, you see. The fact that you are not a boozer is the final nail in the coffin! He would like you better if you would have a few jars with him but you are right to stick to what you feel comfortable with. I personally would be glad if I had a daughter and my SIL had a sensible attitude to drinking. It's his loss if he doesn't want to nurture you as another son. As for your MIL, she probably has no idea how much damage she has done to her daughter. Is your wife the youngest? You never did say how old she was.

It is horrible when there is a public holiday and you are alone instead of doing what you would normally do with your spouse. You are right though - it is a good job you haven't had any kids. The other good thing? You found out what she was like fairly quickly. I know 5/6 years is a fair amount of time but it took me 20 years to find out what a toad my own husband was. He is now my ex and I am now 40. I wish I had jettisoned him 10 years ago but I made the mistake of thinking things could only get better. They didn't. You are still a young man. I know you loved this woman for who she was rather than what she looked like but it sounds to me as though she had frustrations throughout all those years she was being ignored by men. Now that she is being noticed, she has decided that finally, she can fulfil her dreams and you do not feature. I do feel for you because many of us here are in the same boat (though not for the same reason).

Take care Zed. I pray for your marriage that your wife doesn't get on the plane. That said, if she doesn't then she will have to have proper conversation with you about what the heck is going on in her head (without running away!) because I do not see a future for your marriage unless you do.


Helen

[zed_199]

I totaly agree Helen... Now that you and some of the other memebers have brought it up that she is getting more attention and probably wants to explore it a bit further, I can sorta understand, but SHEESH, what time to pick a mid life crisis.... By the way She's 28 years old... fairly educated, not one of those Cheerleader type attitudes... (until now, and sorry for the cheerleader sterotype. its just how I see it now)

Its just coming to terms with things... for the past month I felt so guilty over everything... but I have come to the conclusion I have made mistakes, but it wasn't that I didn't try either! I'm not one of these guys who plays hour & hours of video games... weekends at the bar... or veging out in front of the tv...

I just wish I could tell her...
"Shame on you."

Without getting too upset, but right now I prefer to just ignore her.

[Helen]

Zed,

I assumed she was a lot younger. I had her placed at 22/23. She is very immature. Kicking doors and running home to momma AT 28 with one-sided stories about what a monster you are, are not the actions of a mature woman. If I knew her I would give her a 'listen up girlfriend' reality slap!

I don't think she is having a mid-life crisis. I do think she doesn't want to be married now she is hot and she wants to be a wild thang like the cheerleader types were in high school. If you will forgive me, she doesn't sound particularly educated either. She is behaving like an idiot! At 28 years of age, she is old enough to know better. She should be ashamed of herself.

Sheesh indeed! She gets on that plane, jettison her on the grounds of her unreasonable behaviour and get on with your life.


Helen

[hoxton]

Zed,
I know it must be hard not only splitting up from your W but now feeling like you have lost her family as well,

But you have to keep telling yourself that you are worth more and if she wants to jump on a plane to see some other guy then you are well rid........

They think the grass is greener on the other side and it isnt but she will learn that for herself,
You just keep strong and stick to your guns you will move on when your ready and I am sure she will be the one regreting her actions.

I hope things work out for you

Take care

Amanda

[zed_199]

As for a future... Quite honestly I don't see one anymore...

If she doesn't get on the plane, then yes, she will have some explaining to do... however there will be a mediator to mediate this discussion. Not just for her, but for me too because I am not only hurt, but I'm angry too.

But if she choses to go, its not my problem anymore... I have flourishing Career, wonderful family and Friends... I haven't lost anything, or gained anything.

Thanks to everyone for at putting some of this into perspective... But I will wait until May 02. Thats the day of the flight from what I know, and if I get no call by then... I will take the appropriate steps to get myself back on track....

Thanks again everyone for letting me vent and get some stuff of my chest.