Just Comforatable

[squidge]

We have been together what to me feels a long time, we have been together about 6 yr. We have a daughter who is two and a half. We have had our up and downs, most of them I feel is adjusting to our family life. Money is always an issue. Having a two yr old had created its own challages. My Big issue is we are together but I feel loney. I miss what we used to have, and I have tried to bring it back. I just feel like I'm raising our daughter with my best friend. Is that wrong? We still have sex but the spark is gone. sex is just sex. I keep wondering am I just not getting how time changes a relationship? I understand the fresh romance is gone but I guess i didnt expect it to completly leave. I'm mixed between wondering if i should think of leaving, mind you single parenting scares me enough to not move an inch. I still respect him, I do love him, (just not like I used too, or feel he derserves) I just want to know if this happens with every relationship over time, is this the natural course of things?

[hoxton]

SQUIDGE,

Have you sat down and tried to tell your H how you feel ? If so how did he react ?

I am afraid for most of us the butterflys that we used to have early in our relatonship does go and that is mainly because you then get used to one another and once you are over the honeymoon period we all get bogged down with daily issues and you settle in your relationship.
But your right most of us at some point stop making an effort, We get to compfortable with eachother and assume that our spouce is happy and content.

What is good in your case is the fact you know that you are not entirely happy and that you can change that, I do think you have to except them butterflys and all the excitelment you felt when your relationship was new will proberley not return but that does not mean you cant do exciting things and spice things up and regain that loved and special feeling that you once had, Unfortunatly thats why most people have affairs it's because there home life becomes a bit boring same thing day in day out, If only they told there spouce when they started feeling that way maybe a lot of marraiges could of been saved. If your spouce does not truely know how you feel how can he help save a marraige that is in trouble.

You need to be honest with your H and tell him that you would like for the two of you to do some new different things to spice up your relationship, You never know your H could be feeling the same as you ?

I hope things work out for you,

Amanda.x

[squidge]

SQUIDGE,

Have you sat down and tried to tell your H how you feel ? If so how did he react ?

You need to be honest with your H and tell him that you would like for the two of you to do some new different things to spice up your relationship, You never know your H could be feeling the same as you ?

I hope things work out for you,

Amanda.x

My H knows we need to do more, we just work opposite shift, he works 9-5 and I work 3-11 so our time together suffers. We also live in a very small town with nothing open other then coffee when my shift is over. (which we can do at home for free) When by small chance we have time off together we tend to do family activies. My H and i have talked he knows we do little which is fun together but he doesnt feel loney.
I know that this has really started to bother me since an old ex started talking to me. I know thats its bad to talk to an ex who still adores you. Its hard because he (ex) is acting all sweet and romantic and i wish I was getting that from my H. I havn't done anything wrong with my ex, but at times i felt like I'd be happier with the ex. I Dont intend on leaving my H I just feel stuck in a emotion turmoil.

[hoxton]

Hi Squidge,

I think you hit the nail on the head when you said this has really started to bother you since an ex turned up on the sceen,
Ther are a couple of good post's on this board about women that have left their H to be with a new love only to find that once the honeymoon period was over and normality set in they wished they were back with their H,
We all like to feel loved attractive and special and sometimes the grass does look greener on the other side but rarely it is.

Your H sounds like a good man, Maybe you should try and weather the storm and hopefully things will get better, In the mean time it might be good to keep your distance from your ex,
It is hard when you both work long hours I know my H works six days a week and most fri and sat night's but I have told him he has to set some time aside for us......
We are going out this weekend.

Good luck I hope things get better for you.

Amanda.