I still love her

[scrapnpepper]

Its been a month since my wife and I seperated we had our problems,stepchild alcohol,deception,and so on.This has been going on for sometime we would fight I'd say the most hurtful things she would beat me up I'd leave for awhile,then be back well I think this time it's really over,But this time after 2 yrs I finally got it right.I have been sober over a month I take my medication every day I'm going to thearpy weekly,These are the things we discussed in the past but it was hard for me to stop drinking because she still did,I would also forget to take my meds unless they were in front of me.well to make a long story short I really messed up totally she obtained a restrainning order on me (one sided and only hers),shes not going to give me any of my premarital belongings she says I owe her money.Well the things in the house I'd like to work on,but other things I want.How can I tell her I just took a major step with myself emotionally and physically to my recovery and even all the devastion we put upon ourselfs need to be addressed and put behind us,For all of us to go to marriage councling to address past issues with someone who is in a position to give us tools to work with.Not judge.She wont talk with any of my family or friends on this matter.We had the most wonderful times togather and she was my best friend I can't help but to think it's over but I still belive in my heart this may work out.After all she and her daughter and I had a good relationship at times and I remember more of the wonderful times than the bad.I feel so sad that the good times are gone for good even now that I finally got it right I should have sought the tool to keep my spouse happy instead I feel its all my fault even though people around us say ist not shes just as guilty they have seen quite abit it went both ways
I just want to show her the new found love inside me for her is nolonger oneway Its about our happiness....

[shadow]

Talk to her and tell her all that you have been doing and your hopes of both going to counslor. Or write it in a letter. Do not expect her to jump at it right away, if she has heard it all in the past she might not believe you. Even if she say no continue on the road you are going. Actions speak louder then words. If she sees that are you are very serious with your change she might consider after seeing that you are meaning it.

But perpare yourself that she might never...... there might be to much water under the bridge now. But still continue with keeping sober and the counslor, because something good will come out of it, a new realationship, and being happier with yourself.

[scrapnpepper]

Thank you for some help Im grasping at straws here,But unfourtunaly the order states no harsssing ect.she had my in jail already when I though we were working things out.so a letter Is out of the question.If its over then what gets into womens heads about keeping things that have no use to her,my tools ect.One day I can get some things from the garage and make sure I take it all then next you know I'm in jail I just know its over,I should give up hope and get over it but its hard.But like you said by me staying focused on me I'll find someone better and so will she.But what botheres me the most she is divorcing my in part by adultry I havent even spoken with any women but her let alone sleep around but I have my gut feelings.could this be her way of getting me out of the way for someone else?I'll still talk her back and try to work on it the best i can.

[shadow]

Sorry I forgot about the R.O., my mind dont work so good in the morning :-)

Only time will tell, maybe she will get wind from friends.

Start look at the future, continue with what you are doing, by the way congradulation and keep up the good work!!! :-) Cause the next step might be better, you have learned some lesson not to repeat in the future, and some how and some way you will find a wonderful relationship, be it with her or with someone else,

It is really out of your hands now, with the R.O. but dont let it drag you down, continue doing what you are doing and you wont regret it. Something will come out of it, maybe not like you was hoping but might turn out to be better yet.