maisydi
31st March 2006, 01:26 AM
Last year I was traumatised, my H left in a 'moonlight flit' and proceeded to harrass, for want of a better word, me for months via text / phone. One minute he couldn't live without me, the next I was the worst mistake he'd ever made. He used to watch me, follow me and I used to have panic attacks whenever my phone rang. I became ill, he finally admitted he was and we eventually decided to try again. It didn't work, he'd done too much and there were too many issues which he refused to acknowledge. When we seperated again it was more mutual, I'd recovered enough to see what was happening and knew to protect myself more than him, and I was ok.
I've now met someone else. It's early days and we met through friends (accidently, not a set-up, I was nowhere near considering that!). The problem I have is that I have absolutely no trust and with absolutely no reason. I panic when he says he'll call, just assuming he won't, or that he won't turn up when we arrange to meet - the worst he's done is not call me when he was ill. I try to read into what he says and does rather than take anything at face value and am always expecting the worst. He knows what happened to me and has been through something similar himself, he's sympathetic but only knows the tip of the iceberg. I don't want to discuss too much with him because although he would be very sympathetic, it would make me seem hung-up on my ex.
I look back so much at how I used to be before I met the H, it's only a few years ago but I was so different. I used to be confident, spontaneous, bright and incredibly laid back, now I feel like a paranoid mess. The old me is coming back, everyone who knows me tells me constantly, but when I'm alone I get so scared.
I've had counselling and I am an incredibly rational person, but in this matter I have such an irrational side that takes over. I sleep really badly and get so anxious. Part of me is tempted to just end my new relationship and say I'm not ready, but most of the time I am enjoying myself and that would feel like I was punishing myself and that he would have won.
Has anyone else felt the same. I just so want to 'take the bull by the horns' and be happy for the first time in ages, but how do I get over these fears? Any advice / support would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks
I've now met someone else. It's early days and we met through friends (accidently, not a set-up, I was nowhere near considering that!). The problem I have is that I have absolutely no trust and with absolutely no reason. I panic when he says he'll call, just assuming he won't, or that he won't turn up when we arrange to meet - the worst he's done is not call me when he was ill. I try to read into what he says and does rather than take anything at face value and am always expecting the worst. He knows what happened to me and has been through something similar himself, he's sympathetic but only knows the tip of the iceberg. I don't want to discuss too much with him because although he would be very sympathetic, it would make me seem hung-up on my ex.
I look back so much at how I used to be before I met the H, it's only a few years ago but I was so different. I used to be confident, spontaneous, bright and incredibly laid back, now I feel like a paranoid mess. The old me is coming back, everyone who knows me tells me constantly, but when I'm alone I get so scared.
I've had counselling and I am an incredibly rational person, but in this matter I have such an irrational side that takes over. I sleep really badly and get so anxious. Part of me is tempted to just end my new relationship and say I'm not ready, but most of the time I am enjoying myself and that would feel like I was punishing myself and that he would have won.
Has anyone else felt the same. I just so want to 'take the bull by the horns' and be happy for the first time in ages, but how do I get over these fears? Any advice / support would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks