29th March 2006, 05:59 PM
I have been married for nearly 20 years. My husband and I almost never fight or argue and we enjoy doing many things together. The problem is that I have built up an emotional wall when it comes to him - due to prior affairs and other stuff I will not mention. I have built the walls to protect myself from being hurt when he does these things. I feel I am a very fogiving person and that is why we are still together. The walls I have put up have caused him to feel that he is not getting the love and affection that he needs, and he is now 'asking' for permission to see someone else - to get what he needs. My response to this was that I understand his feelings and that I am willing to work on being more loving and 'taking down the walls' - but that I would not give him permission to see someone else and if he chooses to do so that I feel we should just get divorced so that he would be free to pursue whatever/whomever he wants. He does not seem to really want to "not" see the other person but also does not really want to go our separate ways. Any advice??