To hold on or not?

[medikel]

Not sure if I should hold on or let go. Hubby not working with me on our marriage. Yet says he loves me and wants me. Though his actions show otherwise. I'm not a priority to him. I find myself waiting to get his call saying he's coming over, only to be rejected and disappointed. This is sometimes due to his job. As he is on call. (or is it an excuse?) If he does come, he's more interested in the tv than intimacy w/me, unless we are having sex.
I feel used and neglected. I'm just so tired of this that I really don't care whether we work it out or not. I just need to know where to go from here. So confused and feeling empty.

Medikel

[blessing]

Hi there I dont know how your situation stands today but i totally know how you feel. My H left me on valantines day after 3 years of marraige, he says he is confused and doesnt know what he wants. Over the next couple of weeks he tried to make advances sexually we were even intimate a few times but the next day he still says he is not sure what he wants, no matter how i try to support his feelings he keeps bringing up disagrements from the past and less and less contact is being made from his part, what i cant understand is how he can say he does want to come back but his actions are completely opposite. it was my birthday 2 weeks ago and he brought me a present and a card and after that i hear nothing from him so strange yet he wont give me a straight answer as to wether he wants to be with me or not, do i just keep waiting? I sympathize with you its not nice at all

[blessing]

Me again I also wanted to mention that after not seeing my husband for a week or so if he decides to visit he seems more interested in the tv than in me or about issues that really matter. I wish he would just be true to himself and to me. sometimes I wonder whats really going on in his head cos whenever i ask he says nothing. Anyway that was then nowadays he doesnt contact me at all and ignors our councellor whenever he calls so I dont know where I stand.

[willmetts]

i am in completely the same situation, my wife says she doesn't know if she loves me and is unsure if she wants to give our marriage a chance!! i too feel like i'm being left hanging on waiting. i have come to the decision wether rightly or wrongly that she knows how i feel, and i am leaving the rest to her. its her choice, i am moving forward with my life and i'm sorry to say that if on the way i meet someone else then i do. someone keeping you holding on is mental torture i have become ill through it and my doctor is considering refering me to a shrink, if this happens i could lose my son, and that is not an option for me. I URGE EVERYONE MOVE FORWARD AS IF ITS OVER, THEN IF IT IS YOU HAVEN'T WASTED YOUR TIME WAITING DOING NOTHING! and maybe if our husbands and wifes see that we don't really need them they might start to think more serioulsy about the situation at hand. BE STRONG FOR YOURSELF, YOU WILL BE A BETTER PERSON FOR IT!

willmetts

[tiamaria]

i have been trying to do it the way you suggested alot of sites on the internet have said it is the right thing to do but i have tried it for the last couple of days and i dont want him to think i have stopped caring or loving him, i am finding it very hard being by myself alot of time to think i do have a 5 year old son but keeping a happy face all the time is starting to hurt

[blessing]

Hi all


Has anyone read the book He's just not that into you? you can get it from ottakers i have but I will say if your feelings are still raw it may seem like torture but it helped me understand the truth and face the things i was not strong enough or did not want to face, if you try it warning you its the raw truth about what men /women really mean when the act and say certain things you find yourself questioning.

There are genuin reasons why our partners leave or act funny but dont keep making excuses to make yourself feel better. the quicker you face it the stronger you will be in a shorter space of time, life to too short to be fussing about all these pains and I do know the pain believe me but how long do you want to stay there, fight it with force
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