View Full Version : marry him, or boot him?
23rd September 2005, 04:57 PM
45V4cn I appreciate you sharing this blog post.Thanks Again. Awesome.
23rd September 2005, 07:03 PM
If you would still consider marrying this guy after all you laid out you need a lot more help than you think you do.
26th September 2005, 03:03 PM
I know that you're right. And I know this sounds weak and stupid....
But we just had the most amazing week end! It's as though he had read my mind. I know he hasn't seen this because he hasn't used the computer all weekend, and that in it self is a shock! And there's no way he would connect this name with me, or even think about finding this web site.
He really went out of his way to be my "old feller" again. Cooked me dinner, took me to see a movie, spent time with me, loved me, laughed with me, talked with me.... all the things we used to do.
He still wont tell me what's bothering him, and because of that I'm certain this good patch is just that, a patch....
But it's giving me time to breath, time to think, and time to work out what I want. Taking the stress away from the situation - I think - will let me step back and take a good look at what I am getting into.
Hopefully this change back to who he used to be will last, but I know that as soon as I see him changing back to the "bad guy", it'll be time to say good bye. It's my home after all, I can kick him out. I can start working now on how I can support myself (financially & emotionally) so that I will be ready to stand on my own if he messes up again.
I may well be back when the poop hits the fan!
26th September 2005, 10:14 PM
I had a jeep once. It was bright red and I loved it. The problem was that it ran like crap (it needed an overhaul) the floorboards were rusted through and it needed a new clutch.
One day I was in the Sierra Nevada mountains going down a long hill - acutally it was a mountain. The road was a steep grade and was going for several miles so I shut off the engine and kicked the Jeep into neutral. I could get away with this because it was manual steering and manual brakes.
Boy it was great. Calm. Quiet. Woosh. I was just flying down the mountain without a care in the world. Never had such a smooth ride.
The problem was I came to the bottom of the mountain. There, after my "smooth patch" I had to start that piece of crap again. I had to try to coax the clutch so I could get in into gear. I was a pain in the ass.
I had a "good patch" racing down the hill, but when I got to the bottom of the mountain it only reaffirmed my plan to sell the jeep and buy one that ran like that all the time.
There is no point trying to put new windshield wipers on a broken windshield.
You can't polish a turd.
27th September 2005, 04:47 PM
Well it might be a number of concerns which are bothering him, he may well feel inadaquart about something for instance the thought that you have own the flat and so he feels like he isn't much of a man or the fact that when you argue you control the nature of any arguement by mentioning that which you have done for the relationship.
I feel the best way to address these types of problems is to sit and talk about that what is exceptable to each other and try to address when talking what you expect form the relationship. You should try to change or make him something he isn't remember you liked him becasue of the fact that he was a nice guy. You have simply had you picture and vision of him distorted by circumstance which you both haven't addressed. He sounds like he is approachable and it may well rekindle you relationship, it too easy too just not speand the time learning and discovering what you both want in life, try to it might just be the start of another aspect to you relationship. He sounds like a nice guy.
You had specifically mentioned your love life and his failure to be loving towards you, well this is a concernt to you and you think that it should be a much more freaquent and regular thing in your relationship, but it could be the case that he gets tired and simply can't hack your pace so try to understand his needs and come to some sort of agreement on what should occurr, enjoy life.... it starts here. Good Luck, i wish i had done the same with my girlfriend and any advice you can give of your rediscovery let me know!
vBulletin® v3.8.7, Copyright ©2000-2013, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.