Dillema
19th August 2005, 10:49 PM
:(
I can not believe that I am here, in this position. I am married to a substance misuser who I can't forgive.
Married nearly 3 years. Wonderful daughter 2 years old.
Whilst wife was pregnant she hid the fact that she was addicted to prescription drugs - codeine. She attempted DIY detox and turned into a monster.
She was sick and she was angry, nasty, unreasonable, paranoid etc. Whenever she cracked and took more drugs she felt guilty and the side effects of her guilt were more anger, paranioa, sickness, unreasonableness.
I was aware that she was spending money like water. I can be a good book keeper and could not account for her spending. She lied about her income, her spending, her substance misuse problem. She stole money from my wallet, the joint account etc.
Daughter was born = our relationship was bruised as due to her behaviour I became 'detached' and cooler around her. I could not accept her difficult behaviour, paranioa and emotional swings. I guess I was not the most support of husbands whilst she was pregnant. Little did I know her bizarre behaviour was due to substance misuse.
She had post natal depression and still a hidden 'problem'. When daughter was 6 months old I found a stash of her medication and confronted her. She eventually admitted her problem (Lied about the extent).
She lied to everyone who was trying to help her re substance misuse.
She could not cope with motherhood. I supported her more than you can imagine.
Our relationship deterioated. We went to Relate.
Jan 05 She left me with our daughter. Feb 05 I got a court order to return daughter home with me.
So I am a single dad working on reconciliation. I am angry with my wife. I do not like what she has done. Risked our babys and her own health. I dont trust her. I am only just begining to like her again.
She wants to move back in. She is on a rehab programme but slow. Should I wait until she is clean or accept that she has been doing very well for 6 month and forgive her?? (If this is possible God willing)
Help :(
I can not believe that I am here, in this position. I am married to a substance misuser who I can't forgive.
Married nearly 3 years. Wonderful daughter 2 years old.
Whilst wife was pregnant she hid the fact that she was addicted to prescription drugs - codeine. She attempted DIY detox and turned into a monster.
She was sick and she was angry, nasty, unreasonable, paranoid etc. Whenever she cracked and took more drugs she felt guilty and the side effects of her guilt were more anger, paranioa, sickness, unreasonableness.
I was aware that she was spending money like water. I can be a good book keeper and could not account for her spending. She lied about her income, her spending, her substance misuse problem. She stole money from my wallet, the joint account etc.
Daughter was born = our relationship was bruised as due to her behaviour I became 'detached' and cooler around her. I could not accept her difficult behaviour, paranioa and emotional swings. I guess I was not the most support of husbands whilst she was pregnant. Little did I know her bizarre behaviour was due to substance misuse.
She had post natal depression and still a hidden 'problem'. When daughter was 6 months old I found a stash of her medication and confronted her. She eventually admitted her problem (Lied about the extent).
She lied to everyone who was trying to help her re substance misuse.
She could not cope with motherhood. I supported her more than you can imagine.
Our relationship deterioated. We went to Relate.
Jan 05 She left me with our daughter. Feb 05 I got a court order to return daughter home with me.
So I am a single dad working on reconciliation. I am angry with my wife. I do not like what she has done. Risked our babys and her own health. I dont trust her. I am only just begining to like her again.
She wants to move back in. She is on a rehab programme but slow. Should I wait until she is clean or accept that she has been doing very well for 6 month and forgive her?? (If this is possible God willing)
Help :(