What things do you do to have a positive attitude about your marriage?

[Gypsywind]

I keep a joy book and add things that are of inspiration to me that I like to add to my collection of meaningful foods for thought for my marriage. I try to focus on the positive things my marriage has brought into my life and not the negative. I try to ocassionally write a letter or card to my spouse and let him know how much I love him today tomorrow and always.

What things have you all found have helped you? Scheduled weekly dates? Time for each other without kids. Just chatting daily on the phone for a couple of minutes?

Anything you have to share would be appreciated.

A Godly marriage is not created by finding a perfect, flawless person,
but is created by allowing God's perfect love and acceptance
to flow through one imperfect person
--you--
toward another imperfect person
--your mate--.
- GypsyWind

[Liz]

A couple of thoughts. David and I try to make sure we check with each other before we commit our time to anything new. It helps us to feel we are considering each other.
Another thing is that we try to tell each other what we appreciate about each other.
"You look great"
"I really enjoyed that meal, you're a good cook"
"Thank you for sorting that out for me"

Liz

[poppy]

Are we talking cloud cuckoo land here, or what?

[Liz]

No this forum is for everyone. Some people come here looking for tips not just help in crisis.

We don't live in cloud cuckoo land. We have our ups and downs but these are things that we try to do to keep our marriage in good shape.

Is it really so unbelievable that two people will try and say positive things to each other and consider each other when making decisions!!!

Liz

[jeannie]

I agree with what is being said, it is so easy when in a relationship to get in a rut. We stopped talking about the everyday things and therefore could not discuss the important things. Since a shake-up in our marriage we now enjoy just holding and cuddling each other and talking.

If I put something on I knows he likes I will wear it again and tell him when he looks nice. I try to cook his favourite meals and love i when he cooks for me. It is easy to take each for granted, he used to say I do not have to say I Love You, but I wanted to hear it. Then I realised I did not always tell him so make sure I do every day.

We are still getting over our bad time but looking forward and hoping that we can make this work.

[kappa]

Jeannie, do you mind if i ask what happened to shake-up your marriage?
What do you think was the most important thing that you both did that got you back on track?