Advise on confronting my husbands' lover

[mio]

Today I made contact with my husbands lover. She agreed to meet me in a public place to talk. I am not sure what i am after or what will be acomplished by meeting her. They have been seeing eachother on and off for the past 8 years. During these years he had been in two other relationships before he met me. I do not understand why he just doesn't formalize his relationship with her and stop hurting and cheating people. I do plan to be calm. I do not know excatly what to say. I only know that I want to be face to face with her and hear her side of the story. I would appreciate any opinion or advise.

[Liz]

Dear Mio

You have said you just want to come face to face and hear her story. That seems to be the best thing to do then - listen to what she has to say. Listen behind the words and watch the body language so you can discover the truth, and then go away and think through what you want to do next.

It sounds as if it is time for your husband to decide what he really wants, you or his long-term lover. I suspect he likes having both, but that is not fair on you or her. I hope your meeting goes ok.

Liz