sally
30th June 2005, 09:50 PM
I have been married for less than a year and really feel that it is failing. I met my husband when he was going through a custody battle for his children, they were being abused by their mother, it was a terrible case of emotional and physical abuse and after an expensive court case(£40,000) The children came to live with me and my husband, they are now safe and he is an excellent dad. I have a daughter of my own, so effectively we are two families who have come together. I thought long and hard about taking on the role of step parent to two very damaged children and what or how this would effect my own child. I have worked really hard at supporting my husband through this awful time, I am the main wage earner and the main carer for the children. I feel that I have given everything, mind,body and soul to my marriage, supporting and loving his children and loving my own daughter. I also work, run the house and deal with all the issues around his children as they need special care. I feel so hurt and upset, as I have no emotional support from my husband, I feel he critises me, he doesn't listen to me, when I ask him for support or a break from caring for the children, he is not a team player within the house, he does not support me in helping me look after my needs, he can be possesive and has little insight to the emotions of others, my dad died in August last year, not once did my husband ask me how I felt. I understand that he has had an extremly stressful time and has many difficult emotions around what happen to his kids, but he did the right thing by them. He doesn't find any space for me, he never finds time for us. I feel angry and resentful, I gave up so much to support him and I can honestly say that I get nothing from this marriage and I feel that I give give give...... Where can I go from here? I have told him how I feel, I told him what I needed, and that was that I wished to be treated as an equal to his children and that he found time to build our relationship but he didn't listen. I now feel exhausted, it has been an extremly hard year, caring for abused children is 24/7 job. I don't want my marriage to be like this and I feel I have done everything to be the perfect wife, but I feel I have been treated in a way that I am not good enough and have been critised throughout our relationship, even though I don't think he could have managed his children on his own and considering everything I feel I have done a good job. I would like some helpful advice. What do I do??