PDA

View Full Version : trusting...kinda long post but please help me


melissa
14th June 2005, 11:39 PM
hey guys im in a very bad situation im 23 years old and im married to a navy sailor and im very very happppy we have a son whos 2 and one on the way...but there has been problems where he feels that im cheating on him:( hes even questioned whether the baby im having is even his :( I WOULD NEVER EVER do this to him he means to much to me hes my heart and without him im nothing :( we dated since high school on and off and i know in high school i hurt him many MANY times! But it all started after we married about a year and a half into it things started to really start up not to where it is now but to the point where hed not talk to me about whats bothering him recently while he was away on a cruise with the navy for 6 months my car wouldnt start nothing and i didnt have a way to have family or friends come help me since they are about 8 hours away so a friend offered to come after he was passing through here for a dog show to come and help me fix the car I EVEN EMAILED my husband that he was cvoming here and he didnt say that he wouldnt like it or anything so I didnt tell my friend no.....but he was mad at me when he found pictures of myself and this guy *MIND YOU THESE PICTURES WERE JUST BEING SILLY AND STUPID NOTHING BAD AT ALL* and he said that i shouldnt have had this guy in the house while he was away that he knows i wouldnt liek him to have a girl in the house but thing is he didnt express to me that it would have bothered him when i emailed him or i wouldnt have had this guy come over here. also hes found naked pictures of me on the computer and he said he has never seen them before yea hes never seen some of them because while he was away i would take pictures to send to him and some of them i didnt like of myself so i didnt send them to him. he just thinks that im sending them out to other guys which i am not DEFINITLY not.....and also recently about a week ago he had to go to something called fleet week which his ship pulled into our hometown so i flew in and spent time with my family everything was so perfect then i came home and he picked me up at the airport (HE GOT HOME A DAY BEFORE I DID) and he wasnt wearing his wedding ring and i noticed that but when he picke dme up he had said i had to change a flat tire so I figured oh he prolly had no time to put it back on,..... he wasnt really speaking to me and he was very distant on the cmputer alot and after 2 days i said we should talk give me 5 minutes of your time because i wanna understand what is going on and he explained that he was upset because of pictures he found on the computer and things that people have said and what not he said people were saying that i was cheating on him and that hes crazy to stay with me and all this he started to cry and i started to cry and i promised him that id make everything better and he said he didnt think i could and i said please give me till september when th ebaby is born to prove that i can make him happy and he said ok and everything was ok for like a day then he got distant again and i didnt say anything until about 2 nites ago and i said that i loved him with every peice of my heart and that i want him and i to work things out becaus ei couldnt live without him and all this other stuff he procceeded to tell me that his heart tells him to give me another chance but in his head it says no...i even begged him I dont knwo what else to do I have written him sweet lil cards and e-cards and i just have done everyhting i can to try but if you have any advice or your in a similar situation or have been PLEASE HELP ME ill do anything to save this marriage



SORRY THIS WAS SO LONG AND HOPE YOU READ IT ALL!

marriedMOM
17th June 2005, 05:18 AM
I am well I guess in kind of a simalur situation. My husband accusses me of cheating only I am a stay at home mom of 4 and I have two more children that live with their father (my first husband) and I drive quite a ways from home to visit my two other kids and I am accussed of cheating with my ex or someone else in that town (it is my home town)
Anyway, I am not really sure how to deal with it myself. I know it hurts to be accussed of things that you have absolutely NO intrest or thought about doing.
All I can say is continue to show him how much you love him and talk openly and honestly with eachother. Sometimes it just takes time and patience to get through these things.
I know from my own experience that with my husband it is hard to get him to talk about what is bothering him as well and he also becomes distant at times. I just make sure he knows that you are open to talking about whatever he needs to whenever he needs to and just like I already said continue to let him know you love him and are willing to work through this.
I also been through the questions about our baby being my husbands because we broke up for a while while I was pregnant with our first baby (our first together...he has 2 from prev. marriage....I have 2 from my prev. marriage and now we have 2 together.) I was living with my grandparents and him and I were not getting along. I have always been faithful to him even when we weren't together. It is very hurtful to have someone doubt you like that as well. We just talked through it and decided we love eachother enough to just let it go after we talked a while and we don't talk about it anymore. It is just not an issue anymore.
I guess what I am saying is talking and being completely open and honest and patience because it does take time is what has helped us so far. I hope I have been of some help to you! Hang in there.