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View Full Version : Married to Him or His Business?


jellybelly
21st April 2005, 05:56 PM
My husband is a professional and has been running his own business for about 5yrs. We have 2 children 8 & 4yrs. He works some evenings and usually one or both days of weekend. My issue is he has the availability of socialzing, albeit for work, it is still socializing. He goes to local pub after work. Goes out for business and aquaintance lunches. Golfs. Always can free up time for these lunches and golf, but if I asked him to free up a lunch hour or an afternoon for us, forget it. Not going to happen. He uses the "its for the business" excuse anytime i bring this subject up. To me, this says, I do nothing to deserve his time, and don't contribute $ wise. I work full time too, and have for our whole marriage and supported us while he got a university edcuation. I work in an office of men, so i have no female interactions or friendships. While he was being university educated and I was working, we had a great social life. Since graduating 12 years ago our social life together has diminished to nothing. I think because he meets with his buddies at the pub at least 3 times a week, he doesn't have the need to socialize anyother time. I don't have those opportunities to socialize. I can't seem to get him to see it from my point of view. I suggested to him once that he not go there for a couple weeks, and then maybe he would have the desire to go out and a Friday night and take me with him. but he still went there and we still don't go out. I should also mention that our 'relations' are non existant, and he can't figure out why. I feel like the housekeeper and child caregiver. Can anyone give me some advice? Hopefully there is someone reading this in the same boat.

London
21st April 2005, 06:27 PM
It seems like he's gone off the marriage except for the "goodies" that come with it - cooking, cleaning, kids and the possibility of unlimited sex!

Have you perhaps tried to go away on a mini-holiday just the two of you to try to rekindle the fire? It sounds like he is looking for "excitement" elsewhere for reasons that he is unwilling to share...

Lovey
26th April 2005, 11:28 PM
Have you tried to sit him down and tell him exactly that? It sounds like you're at your last straw. :( I would be too. He is taking you for granted and it's not fair.
Doesn't seem like he knows just how much he is hurting your marriage. He has got to let you in or he will lose you.
I say talk to him! Try to help him understand what you're feeling. I feel so bad for you. My exhusband was always about his things and I was always left out. I tried to tell him that he was hurting us and ended up leaving in the end. What happened was he understood finally when we were separated after a year!
Your man has other priorities and he needs to get on track and find out what is really important in life.