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SicknTired
15th November 2004, 08:57 PM
Okay, long story. I’ll try to make it as short as possible. When my husband and I started dating 12 years ago, he had a girlfriend. I was the other woman for 1 ½ years until he finally broke up with her. He also had a female “best” friend that he met a year before we started dating. I accepted the friend and as the years went on, I felt more and more uneasy about her. I always get the impression that she’s in love with him. She gives him “googly” eyes and hangs on every word that he says. We married in 1998, and things have gotten worse. He admitted to having sex with her once years ago because he felt “obligated” and it got to the point that she was always at my house or staying the night. I went to California on a family trip this summer and while I was gone, he had her stay the night. I was not happy about that. I finally told him how I was feeling about her and he told me I was being petty. I drew my line in the sand and told him that she cannot come over when I am not there and she cannot ever spend the night again. He RELUCTANTLY did it and told me how hard it was to have to tell her that. The finally nail in the coffin just happened when he invited her to share the costs with him and his 2 sisters for a gift for his grandmother. I got very angry because I felt that he was still trying to fortify their relationship. Again, I was told that I was being silly and that his grandmother and mother considered her an extended part of the family. After hours of arguing, he decided that he was gonna end the relationship. Am I wrong for breaking up their friendship, or do you think I should still be concerned? Feel free to request more info. Sick & Tired, NJ USA

smackie9
15th November 2004, 09:45 PM
Girl, if you were the other woman for a year and a half. What makes you think he's not going to do that again, huh? Danger Bay! Never date a guy that is still married or in a relationship> in return he will do it to you!

Rosieq
16th November 2004, 06:21 PM
Dodgy.

Obviously each person has their own set of personal 'boundaries' of what is and what isn't acceptable.

Would he accept you having a close male friend like this? Would he be ok with that friend staying over while he was away?

Ask him and see what his answers are.
If he says yes then perhaps he just has different ideas of what is or isn't appropriate re friendships. You need to explain clearly and calmly how you feel and tell him that for you this is a deal breaker.

If he says no, then he needs to ask himself why, if he couldn't accept it, is he expecting you to be ok with it?

Sierra
24th November 2004, 01:50 AM
You picked up a snake because you thought it looked nice. While you were holding it you saw it reach out and bite someone and then slither into your pocket.

Sometime later are we to feel sorry for you when you get bitten?

D