what have I done

[paulone]

Well here goes weve been married for 18 yrs we have had our fair share of problems and worked through them all
We both work hard and have done fairly well for ourselves we have two loverly kids one Girl of 14 and a boy of 11 who are great kids
A couple of years ago I after a bad patch moved out about mid october it was all very upsetting for both of us and the kids in did go back after a coiple of weeks but couldnt cope with life in general and moved out again.
Over the xmas / new year time I did see some one else for a couple of weeks It did get back to my wife and when she asked I admitted to seeing her and it then dawned on me that I was missing my wife and kids and the whole family item so we agreed to make afresh start.
I didnt move straight back in we took our time and it was the following febuary whan I moved back in.
All went well I changed jobs we even renewed our marraige vows in July 2004
then we started to drift again and argue she said I snored to much for her to get to sleep so I started to go to bed after her.
I then was staying up later and later then got to using then iternet and stupidly got on to chat rooms they seemed like fun to start then 3 weeks ago I asked the wife to try and register me for ebay as I couldnt get it to work
Whilst checking my emails she found one from another woman that I had contacted it said shed tried to ring me but couldnt get through and left her number.
Id never tried to concact this person apart from the first email as I suddenly relised what prat I was being but didnt delete the email .
The wife read it and is now convinced that iv seen this woman when i havent even spoken to her.
I cant think what my wife is going through and I feel that Ive totally let her down even though Iv done nothing apart from send the first email.
I dont know what to do or say that can make things any better.
Should I just offer to move out, or what she says shes to mixed up and upset to talk to me about it all and that Ive let her and the kids down
HEEEEEELLLLLPPPPP
Paul

[Concerned Reader]

Dear Paulone

No! don't run away - it makes you look as if you have done more wrong than you actually have.

Tell all the truth, say sorry, do what ever it takes - but make it up. Your wife probably wants to make up. She will shout and cry, but she will meet you and if you stick with it you can repair this.

And try some nose bands for the snoring.

[Sierra]

So NOW you want help.

Where was all the worry BEFORE you hurt your wife. Its nice that things "dawn" on you AFTER you have your fun.

Its important not to cheat on your wife. Its more important to not even give her reason to not to trust you. You can ruin a marriage by cheating and never actually cheat.

If you'd spend less time worrying about yourself and your wants and commit yourself to a promise you ALREADY made, perhaps you would not find yourself in so many "bad patches".

If you want to fix things I would you suggest you stop feeding your wants and demonstrate that you are a person in whom she can trust.

D

[visitor]

you muppet! most people posting here would give their eye teeth to get a second chance. you got that opportunity, learnt nothing, and promptly messed things up again. If you are lucky enough to get YET ANOTHER chance to prove yourself worthy as a husband, you better understand that it probably will be the last one you ever get. you have a hell of a lot of growing up to do, friend, and you better do it fast!

[mjdirect]

yeah you need to have good look at yourself. are you loyal to your wife or not? - do you want to be with her?. She must feel a little shattered by the email from the potential online lover but really that was nothing real. Being that you have been unfaithable in the past it will be a real test for your wife to continuue to support you. It will all work out for the greater good and my wishes are with you. take note and be loyal to one.